


Refreshments, anyone?

by CanineKitten



Series: When life gives you lemons.... [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama, M/M, Slutty Uchiha Sasuke, Threesome - M/M/M, mentions of suicide and attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4824296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanineKitten/pseuds/CanineKitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There seems to be trouble in paradise. Time to reevaluate some life choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Break me

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t feel that ‘Lemonade’ was entirely resolved, so I wrote this. It'll be a lot of lovely smut, troubled minds, and drama! It’ll be posted in two parts, possibly with some backstory in the next part if I have the time for it. It’s kinda risky to post this now, really, because I’m in the beginning of a writing assignment at my school, but here’s for hoping it won’t take an age until my next post. Better stay optimistic! Enjoy :)
> 
> Warnings: sex between men, threesomes, breaking of hearts, feels

It had been a year, and Kiba was back in Konoha for summer vacation. It was the first time he’d been back since he started school in Kiri, but eventually his longing to see his family and friends had been too much. At first, he’d been happy to keep away from Konoha. It portrayed to him a place where he’d been happy a lot, but also very miserable. And the last year of high school had been the most miserable time of his life. Also, he’d been up to his neck with school so there hadn’t been much energy left to travel all the way back to Konoha in the few, short breaks he had.

But now that he was back, a sort of calm had settled over him. It was nice to bicker with Hana again, and to argument with his mother, and to see Akamaru again. And he’d seen some of his old friends again too, and it’d made him realize how much he’d actually missed home. But there was one friend he had yet to see; his best friend. Or, the one who used to be his best friend anyway, because he’d barely talked to him this last year.

He’d been lounging around in his home for over a week now, and his mother had become tired of his constant presence.

“Can you do some grocery shopping for me?” she asked one day, after having ordered Akamaru to drag him out of bed.

“Moom…” Kiba protested.

“Go on, get your ass moving. I'm tired of seeing you mope around like a lost pup.”

Kiba sighed and took the shopping list offered him.

He walked into the grocery shop with a glum look about him. He walked back and forth without the faintest idea of where the next thing on the list would be. Why couldn’t his mother have made it more orderly? He was standing in the vegetable aisle wondering what the hell a fennel was when someone touched his arm. He turned and his eyes almost rolled out of their sockets when he saw Sasuke standing there.

"Hey."

He looked even better than Kiba remembered. His hair was the same, a silky dark black that was just as soft to touch as it looked. He was dressed in black; tight fitting black jeans, black tank top, black shirt... Somehow he looked more mature than before. It had been a year since they'd last seen each other, but it felt like an eternity,

"Hey yourself," Sasuke said with a small grin and suddenly it felt like just yesterday they'd talked last.

Kiba grinned too. "How have you been?"

"Fine. More than fine, really. Are you on summer vacation?"

"Yeah.”

"Are you doing anything special or do you want to meet up someday?"

"Sure! Yeah, I mean I could definitely find some time."

Sasuke smiled. "Have you talked to Naruto lately?"

"No. Is he back in town too?"

"Yeah. I'll be in contact, got to run."

"Kay, see you."

Kiba just stood there for a while after Sasuke left. His thoughts didn’t return until after Sasuke was out of sight. Shit, he thought. That had been like taking a steep dive a year back in time and into those old feelings that had used to be a part of him for every second of every waking hour. He hadn't been aware that Sasuke had affected him so deeply. But the feelings that came back now were almost like a slightly violent caress. It'd been exactly what he'd missed this last year.

He was so screwed.

 

\--------

 

Sasuke cuddled up in bed next to Naruto. Naruto had his own apartment now after he started working as a waiter at Akatsuki - much to Sasuke’s amusement, although he appreciated the tightfitting uniform. It was still a tiny place, but much better than his first flat. This one was actually big enough for two.

"Hey," Naruto murmured. He'd been about to fall asleep.

Sasuke kissed the back of his neck. "Guess who I met at the grocery shop today."

"I dunno... Oh no, it wasn't Kankuro?"

"No. It was Kiba."

"Oh..."

"He said he didn't know that you were in town."

"No. We... Er, we haven't talked much for the last year.”

"Why not?" Sasuke asked.

"I dunno... We lost contact after he moved."

"I said we should meet up... Shouldn't I have said that?"

"No, it's fine. I'd like to see him again."

Sasuke kissed Naruto's jaw. "Let's talk about it tomorrow. Goodnight."

"G'night."

 

\--------

 

Sasuke woke up before Naruto. He ran his hand up and down Naruto's torso while he waited for him to wake up. He'd yet to get used to the rock hard muscles under the completely smooth skin. As a way to work off sexual frustration and boredom in the long periods when he couldn’t see Sasuke, Naruto had taken to training like crazy. Also, he was raking off all excess hair. Sasuke had no idea why, but he had sort of taken to the change.

The first time Sasuke saw Naruto again after he started school, was at the airport when Naruto came to pick him up. Sasuke almost didn't recognize him. Naruto looked so much more grown up. Taller, broader over the shoulders, even his style had changed. That first time, they hadn't seen each other for over three months.

Naruto had grabbed Sasuke and kissed him the second they were close enough to each other. Sasuke had been surprised and slightly scandalized since there were a lot of people around them, but then he'd just decided to let it go.

"What happened to you?" He'd asked Naruto when they parted.

"I've missed you," Naruto said.

"You've been working out," Sasuke said, running his hands down Naruto's arms.

"Yeah, I..." Naruto leaned in and kissed Sasuke again. "Let's go home," he said.

Naruto drove like a maniac all the way home. Then, when they arrived at the house, he just grabbed Sasuke and lifted him up, ignoring his protests, and carried him up to his bedroom. Itachi was at Shisui's place, having chosen to give them a bit space the first night. Which had been very wise of him, because no one in that house got any sleep that night.

That had been the Christmas vacation. They'd been too busy with each other to see anyone else, and Sasuke hadn't asked any questions. After that, Naruto had visited Sasuke as often as he could afford, and as often as his work allowed.

Sasuke gently kissed Naruto awake.

"Are you working this week?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to have a party this weekend?"

"Yeah.” Naruto’s face lit up. “Here?"

"I was thinking at my place. This place is a little small. I could invite our friends from high school."

"Would you do that?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, Sasuke." Naruto leant up and kissed him. “What’s the occasion?” he asked, unable to hide his suspicion.

Sasuke smirked. “Does there have to be an occasion?”

Naruto frowned. “Doesn’t it?”

“I just thought you’d want to see your friends again,” Sasuke said. “And I want to see mine too.”

“You have friends?”

Sasuke boxed Naruto in the stomach, and he rolled away, laughing. Sasuke launched on him, tickling him relentlessly.

“Okay!” Naruto gasped between fits of laughter. “I give in, I give in!”

Sasuke hugged him.

“Thank you, babe,” Naruto said.

Sasuke pulled away. “Babe?”

“Aren’t you my babe?”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

But he cuddled closer to Naruto and didn’t mention it again.

 

\------

 

Sasuke held his promise, and a party was arranged the next weekend. People were excited to be reunited. Most hadn't seen each other since the end of school last year. Even Sai and Gaara had been invited. Naruto was surprised Sasuke had invited Gaara, considering how they'd never liked each other much. He wasn't so happy that he'd invited Sai, though, but he and Ino were going strong now, so he guessed it was no way around it.

Naruto got alarmed, though, when he saw who arrived together with Gaara. He strode right over to Sasuke and placed his arm around him protectively.

Kankuro lifted his hands in a placating motion. "Relax. I know when to step down."

Naruto gave Gaara a ‘what the fuck’-look.

"Sorry," Gaara said. "I tried to keep it secret from him, but he found out."

Naruto kept an eye on Kankuro the entire evening, but he kept a reasonable distance.

Kiba arrived late. To everyone’s surprise, Sasuke greeted him with a kiss to the cheek. Naruto wasn’t sure how to feel about that. And then Sakura arrived. It was like a party designed for disaster.

"Why is she here?" Naruto muttered to Sasuke.

"I have no idea... I didn't invite her."

She too kept her distance. She talked mostly with Ino. Karin arrived so late that nearly everyone was hammered. She arrived with her boyfriend, Suigetsu, and a friend of them, Juugo. They'd been to a different party first. Sasuke greeted them with more enthusiasm than Naruto thought he had in him. He was also drunker than Naruto had ever seen him before. He hugged all three of his old friends and talked with them for a while. Naruto went to see how everyone else was doing.

He ran into Kiba who was talking to that shy, pretty girl... Hinata.

"Hey," Naruto said. He nearly hadn't talked to Kiba all night.

Belatedly, he realized he might have interrupted something.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt..."

Hinata blushed and lowered her eyes.

"T-that’s okay, Naruto," she said. "I-I was actually on my way to the r-restroom."

She scurried away before anyone could stop her.

"Was she always so weird?" Naruto asked.

Kiba snorted. "Only around you."

Naruto frowned, but let it slip. He wanted to talk with Kiba.

"Long time no see, mutt," he greeted.

Kiba smiled and suddenly everything felt like it used to between them. They talked and brought each other up to date on what they’d been doing. Kiba almost laughed his ass off when he heard about Naruto's job. They talked for so long that people started leaving without them noticing. After a while, Sasuke came over to them and fell into Naruto's lap. He kissed Naruto's cheek wetly and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Isn't it about time to go to bed?" He purred.

Naruto kissed him back. "Is it that late already?"

"It's 5 pm."

"Oh... Well..."

"Kiba could join us, you know," Sasuke whispered in his ear.

Naruto gave Sasuke a look of skepticism. "I don't think... I'm too drunk..."

"I didn’t mean that way," Sasuke said with a smirk. He got up and left.

Naruto just looked after him for a long while. He had a very strong feeling that _that way_ was exactly what Sasuke had meant.

"I guess it’s time I went home," Kiba said and got up.

"You can stay the night here, if you want." Naruto said.

"That'd be great, actually..."

They didn’t bother to chase out the people who had fallen asleep in various corners of the house. Sasuke just locked the door when the last stragglers had left and followed Naruto and Kiba upstairs. Naruto wanted to direct Kiba to Itachi's room, but Sasuke stopped him.

"It’s cluttered," he said, something that Naruto knew for a fact it wasn't.

Itachi was perhaps not home very often nowadays, but he was always perfectly immaculate and never left behind clutter of any kind. But he didn't say anything as Sasuke led them both to his room.  

 

\-----

 

Kiba woke up a little disoriented. At first he didn’t remember where he was, but the room looked vaguely familiar. He breathed in deep through his nose, and felt the musky scent of someone who wasn’t himself, and a crisp, tingly scent that he associated with only one person. In his drowsy state, he found he was hard quite fast just with those scents combined.

He turned around only to find himself faced with a broad, tanned back and the back of a blonde head. Naruto. So it hadn’t all just been a product of his imagination. He actually was in bed with at least one other person. But as far as he remembered, nothing had really happened last night.

He sat up and wasn’t very surprised to find Sasuke nestled neatly between Naruto’s arms. It was his scent that always sent tingles through Kiba. Seeing them nestled together, naked (as far as Kiba knew) really didn’t help his insistent hard on. He stretched and yawned and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

When he returned to the bedroom fifteen minutes later, Sasuke and Naruto was still asleep. Kiba put on his pants and looked around the floor for his t-shirt. He ruffled his hair with the towel, not really caring that it’d stick out in every which direction. For some reason, he didn’t feel like he could leave without talking to one of them.

He chose to wake up Sasuke since he knew that Naruto was a heavy sleeper, and Sasuke was very easy to wake up. He touched Sasuke’s shoulder and whispered his name. Sasuke groaned and stirred but didn’t wake up. Kiba leaned closer and brushed Sasuke’s bangs away from his cheek, to which Sasuke reacted with a soft moan and a tilt of his chin. Then he breathed out a deep sigh. Kiba stood like frozen for a moment, but Sasuke showed no sign of waking up. He ran his thumb over Sasuke’s cheekbone, and down along his jaw.

“Sasuke,” he murmured, and to his surprise and slight embarrassment, Sasuke opened his eyes and blinked before blearily focusing on him.

“Kiba?” he said, his voice thick. “What are you…?” Sasuke sat up with slow, careful movements, and rubbed his head. The sheet slid down to pool in his lap, but Kiba could see the edge of his briefs peek up. So he wasn’t entirely naked. It was both a blessing and a tiny bit disappointing.

“I don’t think anything happened… We just slept,” Kiba said. He was a bit fuzzy about what had really gone down the other night, but as far as he could remember they’d just gone to sleep.

Sasuke groaned softly in pain, and looked around as though looking for something to relieve the headache. In stead he noticed how Naruto had nearly pressed him out of the bed during the night, leaving him teetering on the edge, and he frowned. Naruto’s wide, muscular arm (Kiba was still a little baffled over how ripped he was) was still lying draped across Sasuke’s lap, where it had ended up when Sasuke moved.

Now he groaned softly and tried to grab Sasuke and pull him closer. Sasuke hit his arm with the knuckles of his fist, and Naruto yelped and pulled his arm back. He blinked and stared at Sasuke, and then when he realized what had happened, he pouted.

“You didn’t need to hit me,” he griped.

“Stop griping, you’re like a six foot tall baby! What the fuck is up with squeezing me out of the bed?”

Naruto looked at the tiny sliver of mattress left for Sasuke to lie on. It was barely wide enough for his butt.

“I can’t control what I’m doing when I’m asleep!”

“Then maybe you should learn to do it!”

“What?! That’s impossible!”

Sasuke stood and marched out of the room, and slammed the door to the bathroom after him.

Naruto sat up, also rubbing his head and in the process tousling his hair even more than before. He looked up and seemed to notice Kiba for the first time.

“Oh… Hey…” he looked shocked, like he hadn’t expected Kiba to be there at all. He rubbed his head even more. “Sorry about that…”

“Don’t worry, I’m used to yelling. I wouldn’t expect anything less from the two of you anyway.”

Kiba had a strong feeling that he needed to leave. He should have just left when he woke up.

He moved towards the door, but Naruto’s voice stopped him.

“Hey, wait. Stay a while?”

Kiba turned and looked at Naruto, wondering if he was honest or just polite. He had that begging look, that soft hopefulness in his eyes that made him go from confident, muscle packed man to an insecure boy. Kiba sighed.

“I don’t feel like I belong here,” he said.

“But you do. You belong with us.”

“No. You and Sasuke belong together. I’m just… the third wheel.”

“… We have room for one more.”

For a brief second Kiba’s mind took a trip into the gutter, but he hurried to reprimand himself. Judging by the innocent look on Naruto’s face, that was not what he had meant.

Naruto couldn’t know that Kiba still found that last time with him and Sasuke to be, without contest, the hottest experience in his life. Incidentally, it also confused his relationship to the two.

“Naruto,” he said. “I guess you want us to be friends like before, but I don’t think we can.”

A confused and panicked look crossed Naruto’s face. Kiba hurried to continue before Naruto got the wrong idea.

“Because I can’t stop thinking about having sex with the two of you.”

His ears seemed to be ringing. He barely heard his own words, couldn’t quite believe they’d come out of his mouth. God, no one was supposed to know that. He must still be a little drunk.

Naruto’s eyes widened comically.

“… Really?”

Kiba still felt a little baffled. “Yeah,” he said. He wasn’t even trying to deny it. “I should go,” he muttered, but when he turned, Sasuke stood right behind him, blocking the way, his dark eyes smoldering.

“I don’t think you should go just yet,” he said, his deep voice adapting a husky tinge. He walked forward, pushing Kiba backwards. Kiba found he was unable, or rather, unwilling to say no. He let Sasuke walk him backwards until he collided with the edge of the bed, and then he just sat down on the bed, not quite believing the fact that he had Sasuke there, right between his legs, his groin just in line of his sight. He wanted to touch, but held back. He wasn’t entirely sure what was going on.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said. Kiba was unsure if he was voicing a warning, or if he was just confused. Sasuke walked around the bed, leaving Kiba sitting. He didn’t know what they were doing since he had his back to them, and he was unsure if he wanted to know. He should leave, that’s what he should do. He should leave this all behind, no matter how hard it was, and begin anew. Find a nice girl, because he couldn’t really imagine dating a boy. He should make a decision. But his body seemed to already have done it for him, because it was refusing to move.

Kiba took a deep breath, and turned around. Sasuke met his eyes. He was standing next to Naruto, who looked between the two of them. He seemed troubled.

“What do you mean… we can’t be friends?” he asked.

Kiba shrugged. Then he shook his head. He was starting to feel the hangover sneak up on him.

“I can’t help but think about… things I shouldn’t be thinking about when I’m with you guys.”

Sasuke looked at Naruto, his eyes conveying something that Kiba couldn’t interpret, but that apparently Naruto understood because he frowned and looked thoughtful.

“It’s not that I want anything from you,” Kiba said. “It’s just that I… I think that I should probably see you guys less. So that I can get over it.”

The hurt that crossed Naruto’s face was too painful to watch.

“I should really go now,” Kiba said, and stood. He walked to the door, and no one stopped him. He walked down the stairs, slowly, step by agonizing step, and into the hall where he started putting on his shoes. Just as he was about to resign himself to his self-chosen fate, he heard the pattering of feet down the steps, and then Sasuke burst into the hall.

“Kiba,” he said. He walked right up to him and grabbed his arm. “Don’t go.”

Kiba felt very tempted to stay, but he knew that it would hurt more. He was more invested in this relationship than he should be. It was better to leave now than to be trapped forever. He shook his head.

“What can you do? There’s no room for me, and the sooner I admit to myself, the better.”

Sasuke tightened his hold on Kiba’s arm. “We’ll make room for you.”

“Not between the two of you. You’re… too close. I’d just be the fortunate spectator in someone else’s life. A year ago I might have been fine with that, but now I’ve gained some perspective. I know that it won’t be enough, even though I want it.”

Sasuke didn’t release Kiba’s arm, but he didn’t move closer either. He watched Kiba, like he was trying to relay a message without words. Kiba wished desperately that he’d be able to understand it, but he couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he honestly felt sorry. If it was for himself or for Sasuke he didn’t know, but he felt he needed to say it.

“No, I’m sorry,” Sasuke said. He reached up and ran the pads of his fingers across Kiba’s cheek, over the light stubble and down to his chin. “I’m sorry I didn’t treat you well. You deserved better.”

Suddenly Sasuke pulled away. “You should go,” he said. There was a sense of finality in his words, but also a hint of despair. A wish to see him away as soon as possible, before the moment passed and all their feelings shattered in a single second, like they’d never even existed. Kiba turned away and walked out that door without turning, without regretting. He just walked and walked until he realized he’d long since passed the bus stop, and then he figured he might as well walk all the way home, so he did.

When he came home he was so tired he just nosedived into bed and was fast asleep in seconds.

 

\------

 

He didn’t see them again before he left after summer vacation. He thought that was for the best, but his heart and body screamed that it was wrong. Still, he left without even a goodbye, and started his second year at school with a blank slate. He was determined to start dating, so he joined the social scene with healthy vigor. He met a pretty girl with jet-black hair. She was good looking, but her personality wasn’t and she had an attitude that scared off most other boys. Only three months later, when their torrid affair was history and they’d gone each to their own did Kiba realize how much that girl had reminded him of Sasuke.

He dated a new girl, but now it took him a shorter time to realize that he was attracted to her for the wrong reasons; she was cold, unapproachable, and liked to look down on him. He broke up with her after three weeks. After that he resigned himself to his fate and conceded with the fact that it wasn’t as easy to forget Sasuke as he’d thought.

He started taking contact with Naruto. They messaged each other now and then, and kept each other updated with how they were doing. Naruto had started studying and was just working part-time. He had less time to see Sasuke, who, according to Naruto’s words, had become a ‘posh asshole’. So he’d just become posh, really. Apparently, his school and the people he’d befriended were hopelessly stuck up. But he visited Naruto as often as he could so they saw each other every two months or so.

Kiba realized he was a little disappointed to hear that they were still going strong. Now that he knew there was a possibility that Sasuke could choose him, it made him less resigned to stand on the sidelines. But even though he and Naruto weren’t as close as they used to, he knew he couldn’t purposefully go between them. He respected Naruto too much, and he also loved him too much to ever hurt him or risk loosing him like that.

 

\------

 

It was Christmas vacation, and Kiba had been home for a few days. He hadn’t seen any of his old friends yet, since everyone was busy with Christmas preparations and family gatherings, but he was going to a party the next day.

Kiba was lazing off and playing videogames when Hana came into his room.

“Someone’s here to see you,” she said.

Kiba wondered why Hana had bothered to come all the way upstairs to tell him that. Usually she yelled at him from the bottom of the stairs.

“It’s Sasuke,” she said, leaning on the doorframe. Ah, that explained. She just wanted the gossip. “He looks fucking better than most girls with that makeup,” she added.

“What the fuck?” Kiba growled.

He got up and hurried down the stairs, Hana in tow. Sasuke was standing in the hallway, still dressed in a black coat with a black scarf wrapped around his neck. His cheeks were rosy from the cold and he still had a few snowflakes in his hair. When he looked up at them, Kiba could see what Hana had meant. Sasuke’s eyes were framed with black coal, making his eyes stand out even clearer, his pupils pitch dark against the white of his eyes. Also, Kiba noticed when he came closer, Sasuke had an earring in his right ear, a small, black stone that caught the light with a dim glow.

Kiba stopped at the next to last step.

“Hey,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Why’re you here?”

“I just wanted to drop by. I won’t be on the gathering tomorrow.”

“… What about Naruto?”

“He’ll be there.”

Hana pushed past Kiba and sent him a look over her shoulder before she went into the living room.

“Take off your clothes,” Kiba said, gesturing towards the hangers. “I mean…” he felt his face redden when he realized how it had sounded, “Your coat…”  
Sasuke chuckled. “I know what you meant.”

He took off his jacket and scarf. Underneath he was wearing skinny-jeans and a tightfitting, black sweater. Despite being dressed from top to toe, there was something enticing in the way his clothes clung to his body like a second skin. Kiba tore his eyes away before he was caught staring and went back upstairs. Sasuke followed. They settled on the bed, and Kiba picked up the controller, continuing the game.

Sasuke leant back against the headboard. He seemed to just sit causally, but Kiba couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to provoke him somehow… Maybe it was the way his legs were spread a little wider than necessary, or the way his hand rested so innocently on his thigh… Really high up on his thigh…

Kiba forced himself to focus on the game, but his attention was elsewhere, and he just kept doing mistakes. Suddenly, Sasuke shifted, and Kiba tensed, all his attention on him. But he just rolled onto his side, resting his head on his hand. Kiba swallowed and tried to focus on the game again.

“This is just like before,” Sasuke said.

“Huh?” Kiba grumbled. He was starting to get annoyed over himself because he’d died three times already.

“You know, the months before we graduated… We used to be in here all the time. I was forcing you to do homework, though.”

Kiba remembered that time well. It was where he’d accumulated all this insane sexual frustration that he seemed to never get rid of.

“I remember,” he muttered.

He also remembered, very clearly, as a matter of fact, how Sasuke had always managed to be in some or other compromising position, how he always would stretch so that his t-shirt rode up, how he’d just casually _bend over_ and strut his ass out till Kiba had to excuse himself before he did something stupid.

He jabbed the buttons on his controller a little harder than necessary, not that it helped. He died again and threw the controller to the side. Sasuke moved closer to him, till he was sitting right next to him, but a little behind him so that Kiba couldn’t quite see his face.

“I changed my mind,” Sasuke said.

“About what?”

“About you. I thought I could just let you go and pretend that nothing had happened between us. But I couldn’t. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I even think about you when I have sex with Naruto.”

Kiba’s heart skipped a beat. “Wh..what?”

Sasuke leant closer. “I want you,” he whispered, and Kiba knew he was done for.

Despite the logical part of his brain screaming at him to stop and get away from Sasuke, he leant closer in stead.

“I don’t want to do this against Naruto,” he said. But his traitorous body was already reacting.

“Don’t worry about Naruto,” Sasuke murmured. “He knows I’m here.”

“But…” Kiba forgot how to formulate words when Sasuke breathed down his neck. “… But I can’t… I… There’s nothing …” As he talked, he also turned his head, and suddenly Sasuke’s lips were over his, and he was captured in a hungry kiss that sent shivers through the marrow of his bones.

He backed away at first, shocked by the feeling and the intensity, but Sasuke didn’t let him break away. He followed, and grabbed Kiba’s head, keeping him in place. He deepened the kiss, and Kiba gave in. With a shuddering, broken moan, he responded to the kiss with more hunger and ferocity than he’d felt since… since the last time he kissed Sasuke. He pushed him backwards, and Sasuke groaned in appreciation.

There was like a flood of emotions unleashed within Kiba in that moment. All the pent up frustration from the months before graduation came roaring back to the surface, and they were followed by the despair and longing he’d felt for the entire year and a half that he’d spent away from Sasuke.

His hands fumbled over Sasuke’s body, grabbed clothes and wrenched them away. He didn’t bother to pull Sasuke’s sweater of further than over his head. It remained around his arms, but Sasuke didn’t immediately try to free himself. Kiba tugged at Sasuke’s pants and got increasingly despaired over the fact that they clung so firmly to Sasuke’s legs. Sasuke groaned and spread his legs when they were finally freed. He tilted his hips up in invitation.

Kiba fumbled with his own pants and freed his erection. He searched through the drawers in his bedside table and found a nearly empty tube of lube. He squeezed the cold gel into his hand and spread it over his fingers. He realized he was getting nervous. His hand was shaking lightly as he reached down between Sasuke’s legs, and pressed a finger into his hole.

Sasuke had thrown away the sweater and reached down to spread himself wider. Kiba gulped. He was starting to cold sweat. He pressed in a second finger inside. It went in easily, so he fitted a third. He started pushing them in, slowly, until they were all buried to the knuckles.

Sasuke’s breath was getting rushed. His hips jerked, eager for friction. He ran one hand over his balls and his fingertips brushed over his shaft, making him shudder.

Kiba pulled out and leaned over Sasuke. Sasuke lifted his chin and met Kiba’s eyes, challenging him, urging him to take control over him. Kiba met his gaze and for a second he got overwhelmed. It was the first time he had Sasuke all to himself, and it felt more intimate than any of the threesomes they’d had. Suddenly, there wasn’t a third party to lean on, no one else to tell him what to do, what was right. Just Sasuke and his challenging gaze. Kiba knew that Sasuke would take control if he didn’t, and although that would be hot, it was not what Kiba wanted now.

He lifted one hand and cupped Sasuke’s cheek. Sasuke bucked up against him, urging him on to the next stage. But Kiba didn’t want to go there just yet. He leant down and kissed Sasuke, parted his lips firmly and claimed his mouth. Sasuke grabbed his hair and pressed him down. He rubbed up against him, pressing Kiba’s erection against his stomach. Kiba gasped into the kiss.

Sasuke’s hand wrapped around Kiba’s erection and he shuffled up a bit so that he could insert him into himself. Kiba refused to let up on the kiss so Sasuke could take control, he twisted so that Sasuke lost his grip on him. He pressed Sasuke back into the mattress and grabbed both his wrists. He lifted his arms, despite a slight struggle from Sasuke, and secured them over his head.

Kiba scooted downwards a little, so that the tip of his cock was resting against Sasuke’s perineum. He had to use one hand to guide the head of his cock inside. He stopped for a second to appreciate the clenching of Sasuke’s hole around him before he started pushing. He grabbed both of Sasuke’s arms again and secured them with both his hands to make sure he didn’t move.

Sasuke lifted his hips and rotated them gently, helping Kiba slide inside him. He watched Kiba intently, but Kiba didn’t meet his gaze. He lowered his lids and concentrated on the feeling of the wet warmth around him. Sasuke moved beneath him, meeting each thrust and encouraging him to thrust harder.

Kiba moved faster, and Sasuke brought his legs up so Kiba slipped deeper inside of him. Kiba groaned. The need for release overcame him, and he started pushing faster into Sasuke. He didn’t seem to mind. His eyes were half lidded, but in their shadow Kiba could feel the assessment. He closed his eyes and buried his nose in Sasuke’s neck, and let the pliability of Sasuke’s body ride his desire.

Sasuke clenched tightly around him and moaned when Kiba started thrusting harder and faster. His thrusts got shallower, and Sasuke wrapped his legs around him, pushing him in harder. Kiba groaned at the raw need in the action. He latched onto Sasuke’s neck and sucked on his skin. Sasuke’s head lolled to the side in acceptance. Kiba nipped with his teeth.

His hips worked and Sasuke’s legs got less tense and more pliable. They opened up, allowing Kiba to come closer. Sasuke groaned and tipped his head back. His mouth opened slightly. Kiba was at the brink, but he managed a few last thrusts that made Sasuke’s back arch, before he felt his orgasm come upon him. His body tensed and he stopped thrusting. Instead he moved shallowly a few times before he stilled.

In the aftermath of his own pleasure he didn’t notice whether Sasuke came or not. He barely managed to hold himself elevated over Sasuke. With a long groan, he finally rolled off to the side and lay prone there for a minute. He felt Sasuke shift and brought out a hand, touched Sasuke’s stomach and loped his arm around his waist. Sasuke sighed, but he let Kiba pull him closer. Sasuke’s erection brushed against Kiba’s arm when they moved, and Kiba opened his bleary eyes.

He looked down at the hard, red erection resting against Sasuke’s lower stomach, and suddenly he felt like doing something new. He scooted down until his head was level with Sasuke’s erection, and, hesitantly, he wrapped his lips around the head of it. Sasuke sucked in his breath, his thigh’s tensing. Kiba moved till he was between Sasuke’s legs, and started moving his lips down along Sasuke’s erection. He had no idea what he was doing, he had never done this before, but Sasuke’s reactions guided him.

He was a little skeptic to putting a dick too far into his mouth. He sucked on the head, which made Sasuke ‘hm’ in appreciation. The gentle sounds urged Kiba on. He parted his lips wider, and felt the tip of Sasuke’s cock touch the roof of his mouth. He pulled away to a grunt of displeasure from Sasuke. In stead he ran his lips down along the side of the shaft, and fisted the base with one hand. Sasuke groaned. He closed his legs around Kiba, pressing his heels into his back. His fingers fisted in unruly, brown hair and pulled. Kiba’s mouth opened in a silent groan. He rubbed his crotch against the mattress and was a bit baffled by the fact that he was starting to get hard again. Despite Sasuke’s tugging, he turned his head and mouthed Sasuke’s thigh in stead. He got a dark whine in response. The sound made him smile against Sasuke’s skin.

“Something the matter?” he murmured, nipping on the soft, pale skin.

“Kiba,” Sasuke groaned. He pressed his hips up, to no great avail. “You’re on the wrong place,” he grit out between tightly locked teeth. When Kiba looked up at him, he was met with a very dark look. He pressed a last kiss into the soft skin between Sasuke’s thigh and balls, and started moving upwards. Sasuke tried to hold him down, but Kiba wouldn’t let him. Even Sasuke’s glare didn’t deter him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Sasuke hissed.

Kiba didn’t answer. In stead, he braced himself right next to Sasuke’s head. With one hand on the headboard, he brought the other down between them. He took a hold of his own growing erection, and gave it a few pumps. It grew and filled out in his hand faster than he thought he was capable of. Sasuke realized what he was doing, and without a word he pulled up his legs and waited.

When Kiba entered Sasuke for the second time, he was ten times more sensitive than he had been at first. He gasped and pushed in slowly. Sasuke wrapped around him and held onto him, his legs around Kiba’s waist and his arms around his back. He tightened his hold each time Kiba pushed in. Fingernails dug into the flesh of Kiba’s back and shoulders, but he barely registered it.

He tried to move slow and steady, tried not to loose it although he felt close to the brink the entire time. He tried to hold back, but his thrusts got increasingly relentless; hard, staccato prods that tugged short, soundless breaths from Sasuke. He felt his breath on his shoulder, felt how it got increasingly short and staccato, how it hitched in his throat at times. He followed those sounds, wanted be the one to make Sasuke loose his breath.

He felt Sasuke’s body wound up more and more underneath him. His legs and arms loped around him so hard they almost crushed the air out of him, almost made it impossible to move. But inside, he got less tense. He seemed to become softer and more inviting, seemed to suck him in even more relentlessly. Kiba tried to not focus too much on the feeling of muscles tightening around his shaft, although that was where every fiber of his being wanted to be concentrated right now.

In stead he focused on Sasuke’s breathing, on those short gasps that came each time he brushed something that felt nice. He managed to make those gasps constant, to make every muscle in Sasuke’s arms, back and shoulders tense, to make him press up against him, to make him cling to him… He pressed in deeper, and Sasuke threw his head back with a long moan. With all the concentration he could muster, Kiba focused on keeping steady, on making Sasuke tense even more. He ignored the pain of Sasuke’s heels digging into his ass, or of the nails that dragged down his back. He focused on his face, on those eyes that were no longer boring into his, assessing, challenging. Now they were half-hidden under fluttering eyelashes, and even from the few glimpses Kiba got of them, it was obvious that they were too unfocused to see anything at all.

Sasuke moaned. “I’m close,” he muttered.

Kiba bit his teeth together. Just a little bit more, just a little bit, and then he could come. But only after Sasuke. He embraced Sasuke more fully, brought one hand under his shoulders. The other he braced against the headboard, his last anchor to reality. Sasuke tensed around him and suddenly the muscles inside him tightened. Kiba let out a soundless moan that worked itself up from the core of his being. He came so suddenly he got no warning at all. He was only aware of the buzz in his own head, and the steady pulsing in his groin, when he heard Sasuke gasp. He said a name. Twice. His fingers dug into Kiba’s back and his entire body shook, even his voice shook, and even then he managed to say _his_ name. Kiba rolled to the side, making Sasuke wince when he slipped out of him, but he didn’t care. All he could think about was that the best orgasm of his life had been ruined by one name. He’d never really hated Naruto before, but right then he did.

 

\------

 

When he woke up, he felt disoriented. He was assaulted by several scents. The scent of sex was strongest, but mixed with it was the milder scent that he recognized instantly as Sasuke’s. Then his foggy mind registered that the warmth he felt pressed up against him was from Sasuke’s body. He realized he was spooning him. At first, his brain couldn’t quite piece together the facts. It felt like he’d been drunk because everything was a bit jumbled. He remembered suddenly that Sasuke had come over, and that it had turned into… It had turned into sex. It felt like a dream. He floated on a cloud of wellbeing for a few seconds, embracing Sasuke tightly.

But he wasn’t suspended on that cloud for long, because he also remembered the bitterness of hearing Sasuke say Naruto’s name as he climaxed. Logically, he wanted to berate himself for being so stupid. Why was he angry with Naruto when it should be the other way? He had, after all, slept with Naruto’s boyfriend.

But his logic didn’t quite pierce through the veil of hurt and anger that the confirmation of Sasuke’s feelings had left. That outcry had reflected Sasuke’s genuine feelings, and he realized that now. He was, as a matter of stupid fact, deeper in love with Sasuke than he had thought, and the reason why he had cut it off with Naruto was not ‘to give them more room,’ or to ‘get over them.’ No, he simply couldn’t stand to be friends with the guy who, on a daily basis, was free to touch and hold and kiss this beautiful man that he was only allowed to have for a few guilt-ridden hours at a time.

He buried his face in the nape of Sasuke’s neck, and breathed in, hoping to engrave that scent in his mind forever. Sasuke groaned and stirred. “Naruto?” he murmured. Kiba tensed. Sasuke turned his head and saw Kiba, and for a second he seemed confused. But then the fog cleared from his eyes and his expression changed.

A little belatedly, he smiled. “Hi.” Even his smile seemed tired, maybe a little forced.

“Sasuke,” Kiba said. “Why did you come to me?” He couldn’t keep out the hurt from his voice.

Sasuke looked at Kiba for a long moment, his eyes searching as though he hoped he’d find traces of humor. When he didn’t, he looked away.

“Kiba...” He said, slowly. “I…” He turned away and was about to sit up when Kiba grabbed him and pulled him close.

“Don’t go just yet,” he said. “I need you to talk to me. I need to know... Are you just gonna throw me away after using me, or do you genuinely…” he stopped.

He couldn’t bring himself to ask. _Do you genuinely like me?_ He wouldn’t ask about love, because he knew that the answer would be negative.

Sasuke tensed, but he didn’t try to get away. He didn’t speak.

Kiba forced him to turn around, forced him to look at him. He held his cheek with one hand, not hard, just enough to prevent Sasuke to look away. If he hadn’t allowed it, he could have easily turned away.

“Do you even like me?” Kiba said. His voice nearly broke. Sasuke closed his eyes. He wanted to look away, but Kiba stopped him. Then Sasuke opened his eyes again, slightly, and said, “Yes.”

Kiba released a choked breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding. “Really?”

“Yes.” Sasuke frowned the way he did when he was annoyed. “Why do you guys always have to talk about feelings?”

Kiba didn’t even listen properly. He leaned forward and kissed Sasuke, long and deep so that they nearly lost their breath. He grinned against his mouth, but got a hold of himself before he pulled away again.

“How much?”

Sasuke frowned again.

“How much do you like me?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Do you want the percent’s? Or on a scale?”

“I don’t know… Just…”

Sasuke sighed. “You want to know how much I like you opposed to Naruto.”

It wasn’t a question.

“Not nearly enough,” Sasuke said, but with some softness.

It didn’t help. Kiba sat up and turned away.

“Then why did you come to me?” he asked again, his tone cold.

Sasuke sat up too, but he didn’t near Kiba.

“After Naruto,” he said. “You’re the person I’ve been the most attracted to my entire life.”

It wasn’t exactly uplifting to know that you came in second just because your stupid friend had to do better than you.

“Do you hate Naruto?” Sasuke asked. The question was unexpected. Kiba hadn’t thought he was that see-through.

He shrugged. “No. But I’ve been really fucking close.”

Sasuke was silent for a long, long moment. Then, all of a sudden, he started speaking.

“Naruto’s not like he used to be. He’s not as passionate and… raw. Instead he wants to be gentle and cuddly. There’s no impulsiveness. It’s like we’re a married couple.”

Kiba snorted. “So you’re ready to jump to the next?”

To Kiba’s surprise, Sasuke moved closer to him. “No,” he said. “I’m just…” He was very close to Kiba, sitting right behind him. Kiba could feel his puff of breath when he sighed. Suddenly, that was all his brain could concentrate on. He could feel the slight warmth from Sasuke’s body too. He had to force himself to focus.

“Needy?” Kiba said. “Horny?” He realized he was speaking for himself.

“I’m horny, yes,” Sasuke said. “I’m also on my last, despairing strand of sanity because that moron won’t understand what I need. He thinks I’m like him. But I’m not.” Sasuke leaned closer, so close that he was a breath away from touching Kiba. “I need to be treated roughly. I need to be fucked.”

Kiba couldn’t help it. He shuddered.

Sasuke’s lips brushed his shoulder, and right then and there he knew he would give in again like some fucking addict. He turned around and grasped Sasuke. He searched for his mouth, and kissed him with a desperate passion he didn’t even know he possessed. Sasuke groaned and let Kiba push and pull him until he had was underneath him on the bed, his legs spread wide. Kiba found the lube and slicked himself up, before pushing into Sasuke without any preparation. Sasuke let out a silent gasp and his hips bucked up, meeting Kiba.

“Yes,” he groaned. “Ah.”

Kiba hadn’t realized Sasuke liked it this rough, he’d just been impatient. But he pushed into him as deep as he could come, pushing up Sasuke’s legs to get a better angle, and Sasuke moaned even deeper.

Suddenly, the door flew up and Hana’s voice shattered their moment: “Hey, Kiba, did you…”

She stopped abruptly. Kiba slipped out of Sasuke and scrambled for a piece of the sheet to cover them with. Sasuke just lay prone like nothing was off.

“Hana!” Kiba yelped, his voice a few octaves too high for his self-esteem. “Get the fuck out!”

“Okay…” Hana said, standing stiff in the doorway. She was so shocked she couldn't even find words. “Okay," she repeated, and then she turned around and slammed the door behind her.

“Fuck,” Kiba hissed.

He felt Sasuke shake underneath him, and realized he was chuckling.

“That was not funny!” Kiba griped. “Jeez, she could at least have knocked.”

“She probably didn’t expect us to be doing this.”

“No…”

Sasuke reached out his hands and Kiba pulled him up so he was sitting. They sat there in a bit of an awkward silence, the sudden rush of desire having passed.

“Kiba…” Sasuke said. “…I’m not about to leave Naruto. But I don’t want to use you either. So I’m asking you straight out; do you want to have a threesome with us? Or maybe…”

Kiba was listening with renewed interest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And it seemed to be more.

“Naruto and I thought that… We could be a thing, all three of us…”

Kiba said nothing, which must have given the wrong impression, because Sasuke added hastily, “I know it sounds crazy, but-”

“No, it’s not,” Kiba blurted out. “Crazy, I mean. I want to do it.”

“… Are you sure? It won’t be like we’re dating or anything. I still love him.”

“I know,” Kiba said. “But I don’t care. I’ll take you whichever way I can have you.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Kiba,” he whispered.

“I think I… I got over the crush,” Kiba said with a sheepish smile. But it wavered and Sasuke saw it.

“I’m…” Sasuke cast his gaze down. “I didn’t know, I… This was stupid…”

Kiba leant forward and placed his thumb over Sasuke’s lips.

“Don’t say anything else. I know I can’t win over Naruto, ever. Not in this matter. But if I can have you anyway… then I won’t say no to that. I’m glad you asked.”

“This is wrong…”

Kiba leant in. He dragged his finger over Sasuke’s bottom lip, opening his mouth slightly.

“What’s done is done. And on some level, you knew. I told you I needed to get over you, and still you came back. So don’t come and pretend you’re sorry.”

Sasuke looked up at him through his dark lashes, his eyes burning with a mix of anger and hurt and guilt.

“You knew,” Kiba said, “don’t tell me otherwise.”

Sasuke looked away. He tried to move out of Kiba’s reach, but he grabbed his head and held him back.

“I love you,” he whispered in his ear. “It’s stupid, I know, but that’s how it goes.”

“And yet you’ll agree to share me with Naruto?” Sasuke bit out.

“I guess I’ve accepted what Naruto did ages ago; you can’t be owned by only one man.”

Sasuke was stiff in his arms, but Kiba didn’t release him. He knew that he could get away if he really wanted to. He managed to turn Sasuke’s head so that he could kiss him, and slowly he softened in his grasp. He opened his mouth to let Kiba’s tongue in, and then he lifted his hands and pressed him closer by the nape of his neck.

The kissing died down to a gentle press of lips until they weren’t kissing anymore.

Sasuke had closed his eyes. Kiba studied every part of his face, from the high, sharp cheekbones, to the straight nose and the soft, spotless planes of his cheeks, to the dark fan of his eyelashes over the nearly translucent skin under his eyes, and suddenly he felt so grateful that he was finally able to be with him.

“It won’t be enough,” Sasuke said.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at Kiba.

“You’ll regret it.” He sounded dejected.

“Probably,” Kiba said. “But I’ll love every minute of it.”

And Sasuke actually smiled.

 

\------

 

After Sasuke left, Hana approached Kiba with a ‘what the fuck’-expression on her face.

“I had no idea you had it in you,” she said.

Kiba immediately got offended. “I’m not so fucking useless I can’t even get laid!”

Hana crossed her arms. “I meant the cheating.”

“I wasn’t cheating!”

“But Sasuke was, that man-slut, and you helped him!”

“Don’t talk that way about him,” Kiba snapped. “And he wasn’t cheating.”

Suddenly he got a little warm under the collar. Explaining this to Hana would be nearly impossible, but he couldn’t let her think Sasuke was cheating.

“We have a deal, okay?”

Hana cocked one eyebrow haughtily. “A deal?” she parroted.

“Yeah. Naruto knows about it.”

“He _knows_?! And he allows it?!”

“Um… Yes…”

“That’s insane!”

“That’s how we are, okay?”

“You guys are fucking nuts,” she muttered. She shook her head, and stomped away. 

 

 


	2. ...and put me back together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You win some, you loose some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did all this angst sneak in here again?! I’m really sorry about that... This chapter is a roller coaster. But if you can get through the first part unscathed, then I promise you’ll be duly rewarded by the end :)
> 
> Warnings: mentions of attempted suicide, attempted suicide, dark backstory, mentions of past suicide. Feels all over the place, proceed with caution. And NaruKibaNaru (but not top or bottom, if that makes sense...)

When Naruto came home from work, he felt like he had a cold lump lodged in his stomach. He knew that Sasuke had been with Kiba today. He had allowed it. But that didn’t help lifting the dreadful feeling that had settled over him ever since yesterday.

When Naruto came home from work yesterday, he’d thought Sasuke wasn’t home since all the lights were out. But then he saw a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom that had not been there that morning. He’d followed them, more puzzled than enticed because he hadn’t expected to find Sasuke naked on his bed.

“Aren’t you cold?” he’d asked, dumbly.

“That’s why I need you to warm me up,” Sasuke had said, giving him that slow, dark smile that made his eyes smolder.

But Naruto hadn’t been in the mood right then. “Hey,” he’d said, “Did you buy any ramen?”

Sasuke arched one eyebrow. “I’m lying here naked, and that’s what you ask me?”

“Well… I’m hungry…”

Naruto wanted to bite his stupid tongue off when Sasuke got up from the bed and wrapped a bathrobe around him with sharp motions.

“Hey…” he said, but Sasuke just pushed past him. “Wait!” Naruto tried to put an arm around Sasuke’s waist, but he pulled away. “Please, Sasuke! If you go back to bed we can try it again! I promise I’ll do better…”

But Sasuke had already slammed the door to the bathroom shut between them.

After that they’d had the worst talk in Naruto’s life.

Sasuke had come out of the bathroom after about an hour, at which point Naruto had given up waiting for him to get out. He was sitting in front of the TV, eating ramen, when Sasuke suddenly slapped the top of his head.

“Ouch!” Naruto spluttered, almost spilling ramen on his couch.

“Don’t you feel something is amiss between us?” Sasuke said. He was standing behind the couch so Naruto had to lean his head all the way back to see his face.

“Um… No?”

Sasuke frowned. Wrong answer, apparently.

“What do you mean, amiss?” Naruto asked.

“How can you not notice? We’re changing.”

“What… What are you…? What do you mean?”

Suddenly Sasuke looked apologetic. “We used to be wild about each other… But now… You don’t even look twice at me.”

Sasuke pulled away before Naruto could see the expression on his face. Naruto forgot all about the ramen and hurried after Sasuke.

“Wait, wait… Is this about the thing that happened today? Because I was just tired and hungry…”

Sasuke turned. “It’s not just that. It’s everything… We don’t have sex as often as we used to… You don’t look at me the same way as you used to… You don’t jump me every chance you get…”

“But… Sasuke… I still love you! I love you so much…”

Naruto walked closer, grabbed Sasuke’s head, pressed their foreheads together.

Sasuke closed his eyes. “If you love me, …” he said, slowly… “If you really, really love me, then…” Naruto was starting to dread what was to come. “Will you give me what I need?”

Naruto was lost for words. “What do you mean?”

“I need something that you… won’t give me.”

Naruto frowned. “And what is that?”

Sasuke removed Naruto’s hands from his hair. “I think you know.”

“But… Sasuke… It’s not only me. You don’t always want to have sex when I want to either.”

Sasuke turned away.

“Wait, wait,” Naruto said. “Are you thinking that it’s _more_ my fault?”

“Of course not,” Sasuke snapped.

Naruto had known him long enough to know that was exactly what he thought.

“Then I don’t know what to do,” Naruto said.

Sasuke was silent for a moment. Naruto couldn’t see his face, and it was unnerving.

“You can let me go.”

Naruto had felt like something blunt and ice-cold had pierced him right through the chest.

“D-do you want us to… break up?” he’d said, his body numb.

Sasuke turned. “No,” he said, his dark eyes narrowed. “No!”

“Then what?” Naruto had been at his wits end. Sometimes he had no idea what went through Sasuke’s head.

“I want to… Have a threesome.”

Naruto gaped. “Is _that_ what you want?”

Sasuke arched one eyebrow. “Yes…?”

“Oh god…” Naruto nearly started laughing in relief. “I thought you… when you said…”

Sasuke came over to him and touched his cheek. “Sorry I scared you,” he said.

Naruto grabbed him and kissed him. “Let’s have a threesome,” he said.

“Sure?”

“If that’s what it takes, then yes. Yes.”

But that hadn’t been all. Because before they could have a threesome, they needed to find someone to have a threesome with. And the obvious choice was no longer available.

“We let him go,” Sasuke said. “He didn’t want it.”

“Yeah, I know… But what if you talked to him? You know… He’s been sort of like a unsuspecting third party whom we’ve just dragged along, but you could offer him to… to have a more firm relationship with us.”

Sasuke perked up. “Do you realize what you’re saying?” he said.

Naruto nodded.

“So you… You think it’s cool that I screw him?”

Naruto flinched.

“Not so cool, then,” Sasuke said.

“No, it’s fine.”

“Didn’t seem that way, Naruto.”

“…Okay, honestly? No, I’m not fine with it. But on the other hand, I can’t expect him to be okay with just being called in like some hooker. Either we do this, and we do it all the way, or…”

He stopped, because he had no idea what else they could do.

Sasuke looked very somber. He leant forward and kissed Naruto’s forehead. “Thanks,” he said, his voice barely a mild breath over Naruto’s lips.

For some reason, it had made him feel better.

They’d decided that Sasuke would see Kiba the next day, which was today.Naruto had no idea how it had gone. He’d managed to get off from work a bit earlier so he could see Sasuke sooner.

The apartment was dead quiet. For a second, Naruto thought that Sasuke wasn’t home. But then he spotted his shoes by the door, and his coat on the coatrack. He peeled off his wet clothes, aware that Sasuke would give him that ‘I told you’-look when he saw the snow drenched clothes that he’d warned would be too thin in this weather.

The kitchen and living room was empty, so Naruto peeked into the bedroom. Sasuke was on the bed in only his briefs and a t-shirt, lying on his stomach, his laptop in front of him. He peeked up from the screen when he heard Naruto approach.

“Hey,” he said, a soft smile on his lips.

Immediately, Naruto knew it had gone well.

“He said yes?” he asked.

Sasuke nodded.

Naruto felt something tighten in his chest. “So…” he said, an shimmied out if his wet shirt. “Did you… What did you say?”

Sasuke shrugged. “I didn’t say much…”

Naruto turned away from Sasuke to look through his closet. He wasn’t even sure what he was looking for because his mind was running a mile a minutetrying not to overthink what Sasuke had said.

“That old, worn, ugly flannel shirt is over there,” Sasuke said. Naruto turned in time to see Sasuke nod towards the chair by the bed. Naruto searched through the big pile of clothes there until he found his beloved orange flannel shirt. He pulled it on over his bare upper body.

“Did you guys fuck?” he asked abruptly.

Sasuke looked up at him over the edge of the computer.

“Yes,” he said, holding Naruto’s gaze.

Naruto huffed and looked away. “Was it good?” he asked.

Sasuke sighed. “Don’t be like that. It’s done now, you can’t suddenly change your mind.”

Naruto pulled off his wet pants and collapsed on the bed.

Sasuke shot him an annoyed glare when his computer jumped with the impact. He sat up and crossed his legs, pulling his computer closer to himself.

Naruto looked at Sasuke, who was entirely engrossed in whatever he was doing… He was probably writing out that essay he’d been talking about. He had a project due in two days, which was also why he couldn’t come to the party tomorrow.

It took a while before Sasuke realized Naruto was staring.

“What?” he asked sharply.

“What did you guys do? Tell me everything.”

Sasuke sighed. He turned off his computer, putting it to the side. Then he sat down next to Naruto, leaning against the headboard.

“I went there, we went to his room, I kissed him, we fucked-”

“Wait, wait, not so fast.”

“Okay; we kissed, he pressed me down on the bed and finger fucked me, and then he-”

“That’s enough,” Naruto shot in. “I get the picture.”

“I thought you wanted to know everything.”

“Never mind, I don’t want it after all.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“So… What do we do now?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke crossed his legs underneath him. “What about inviting him?”

Naruto frowned. “Just like that?”

“What do you suggest?”

Naruto shrugged. “I don’t know…”

“You’ll see him at the party tomorrow. What about… loosening him up?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, have sex with him.”

Naruto looked up sharply. “… Seriously?”

“If we’re gonna have a threesome, you better participate.”

“Okay…” Naruto slumped against the headboard. “But me and Kiba are not a good combination in bed. We don’t bottom. And believe me, we’ve tried.”

Sasuke turned to Naruto, a small smirk on his lips. “You did? I thought you just fooled around.”

“No, we tried to have sex. I tried to bottom first, and then he tried. It just didn’t work. I don’t get how you can like it. It’s… intrusive.”

Sasuke ‘hm’- ed softly. Naruto had a feeling he was imagining him and Kiba together.

“Does that make you hot?” he asked.

“What?”

“Thinking about me and Kiba together.”

Sasuke’s smile was slow and sensual. “Maybe.”

“You were thinking about it, weren’t you?”

“Hm…” Sasuke carded his fingers through Naruto’s hair. “I liked watching the two of you the last time. I wouldn’t mind if you went further.”

Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s hand and kissed his palm. Sasuke moaned softly. He slid onto Naruto’s lap, facing him. He kissed Naruto, and this time they were on the same page. Naruto accepted the warm, slow kiss with a probing tongue that urged for something more. He grabbed a hold of Sasuke and flipped him around, lying halfway on top of him with Sasuke’s legs parted over his thighs. He pressed against him.

“Mm…” Sasuke said, and smiled against Naruto’s lips. He wrapped his legs around Naruto’s hips, and Naruto rolled onto him.

“I’ll give Kiba a run for his money,” Naruto murmured into Sasuke’s neck.

Sasuke kissed his ear. “Don’t worry about that,” he murmured. “You’ll always be the best I’ve ever had.”

 

\------

 

The Christmas-party was held at Lee’s flat. He’d started dating Sakura about four months ago, and that way had become a more prominent part of their little circle of friends. None of Sasuke’s friends were at the party, and neither were Gaara and his siblings, but Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji and the rest of the old gang were all there, as well as that shy girl, Hinata, and some people Kiba only vaguely remembered from high school.

Kiba socialized a bit with everyone and caught up with what they were doing, but after a while he started gravitating towards Naruto. Everyone was either dancing slowly to the music, or talking in pairs. It was a slow and nice party. Sakura and Lee was dancing slowly, looking all lovey-dovey, while Ino and Sai were kissing and talking on the sofa. Hinata, Shino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Naruto and Kiba were sitting in a circle, talking and laughing. Naruto weren’t as invested in the conversation as the others. He looked tired and glum. Kiba had a feeling he knew why, and since he was an apparent reason for his distress, he was a bit hesitant about talking to him. But when Naruto left the circle of friends and didn’t come back for a while, Kiba decided he’d have a talk with him. It would happen sooner or later anyway.

He found him in the kitchen, where he was nursing a beer and looking at his phone.

“Hi,” Kiba said. He went and got himself another beer.

Naruto looked up from his phone. He managed a weak smile. “Hi.”

“What’s up?” Kiba leant on the edge of the counter, opening the bottle with his keychain.

“Nothing much. I asked Sasuke how his essay was going. He told me he was going to bed soon.”

“Hm…” Kiba said. He was thinking about something else entirely. “Naruto,” he said. “What is going on between you and Sasuke?”

Naruto looked at his phone, pretending there was something of great interest there. Finally he put it away.

“We just… I don’t know. We don’t really have sex so often any more. He’s always tired or has to work on something.”

“Then… Why did you let him come to me?”

Naruto shrugged. “I guess I just… I didn’t want to hold him back.”

“But don’t you get it? He’s doing it because he’s bored! He needs… he needs something more.”

Naruto looked up at Kiba, a contemplative look on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“How should I know? I just think you need to… remember how it was in the beginning. You know, the excitement, the thrill, the raw _want_. That’s what he misses.”

Naruto was still watching Kiba like he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle.

He took one step closer. “Naruto…” Kiba said. He wanted to take a step back, but the counter was right behind him. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

Naruto took another step closer. He reached out and put his hands on Kiba’s shoulders. His eyes trailed down along his body, from his neck to his chest, and down to his crotch. He stepped even closer, almost closing the distance between them.

“Naruto,” Kiba murmured.

“What do you think I should do?” Naruto asked. His eyes were on Kiba’s mouth.

“I think you should go to him tomorrow…” Kiba choked down a gasp when Naruto leaned in, but he just nuzzled his cheek. “And then…” Kiba continued, slightly short of breath. “Then you should take him… mm…” Naruto was breathing on his neck, right below his ear. “Take him to his room… Aah!” Naruto had nipped his skin with his teeth. “God, Naruto,” he murmured.

“And then?” Naruto said. His voice rumbled in Kiba’s ears, his timber reverberating through his body.

“And then,” Kiba said. He leaned his head back, baring his neck to Naruto. “Then you push him down on the bed…. You put your hand on the small of his back…”

Naruto placed his palm on the small of Kiba’s back, right over his ass. “And then… You pull his pants down, and you fuck him there, on all four…”

Naruto grabbed Kiba’s head with both hands, and crushed their lips together. No forewarning, no gentleness. He opened his mouth and scraped his teeth against Kiba’s lip, and then he pushed his tongue inside and Kiba opened his mouth to let him in.

“Fuck,” Kiba murmured against Naruto’s mouth.

Naruto just grunted and fisted his hands in Kiba’s hair and pulled his head back so he could get more control.

“Shit,” someone said, and both Kiba and Naruto whipped around. In the doorway to the kitchen stood Shikamaru.

“Sorry,” he said, lifting his hands in a placating motion. “I never saw this. I’ll be backing away now, pretending this didn’t happen.”

When he was gone, Naruto and Kiba looked at each other, and then Naruto stepped away from him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Kiba pressed his fingers to a sore spot on his lip. They came away bloodied.

“That was…” Kiba said, his voice rusty. He cleared his throat. “That was hot.”

Naruto looked around as though making sure no one was watching them.

“Bedroom?” he said.

Kiba straightened up immediately. “Yeah.”

They tumbled into the bedroom that looked least like the master bedroom. The last thing they wanted was to have sex on Lee and Sakura’s bed. They tugged off each other’s clothes while they attempted kissing and walking towards the bed. In some miraculous way, they managed to land safely on the bed without any injuries.

Kiba ended up underneath Naruto, but he didn’t care. He liked the weight on top of him, and Naruto’s musky scent in his nostrils. Naruto reached down to pull down his own boxers, taking his erection in hand. Kiba looked down and bit down on a groan.

He’d forgotten how big Naruto was, and how much of a fucking turn on that was. He felt the tip of Naruto’s cock press down against his stomach. It left a moist trail over his naval. Kiba reached down and freed his own erection, giving it a few tugs.

Then they looked at each other, and both hesitated. They knew that neither wanted to play catcher, so it would be either a handjob or a blowjob. Kiba was pretty sure he knew what Naruto wanted. He sat up and Naruto lay down on his side. Kiba turned so that they were lying in opposite directions. His head was now right over Naruto’s crotch. Naruto had caught on by then. He grabbed Kiba’s hips and then his mouth enclosed around Kiba’s cock without any forewarning.

Kiba gasped. Naruto took even more of his cock into his mouth. He held a hand on Kiba’s hip to prevent him from moving too much. To get a better angle, he pushed Kiba onto his back, so he could deep-throat him. Kiba cried out as Naruto increased the suction. His body was tight as a bowstring. He’d completely forgotten about returning the favor.

Naruto sucked in his cheeks to create suction, and rubbed his tongue over the tip of Kiba’s cock each time he drew back. He pressed the cock-head against the roof of his mouth, and took him in as deep as he could. Which was pretty fucking deep. Kiba tensed and came as Naruto sucked at the tip of his cock again. He was still gasping when Naruto turned towards him with a grin.

“Where the fuck… did you learn that?” Kiba said, still breathless.

“Where do you think?” Naruto said with an impish grin. “I believe it’s your turn.”

Kiba rolled over and hesitated a second with his head over Naruto’s cock. Goddamn, that was going into his mouth? Suddenly he felt a new level of respect for Sasuke. He started giving Naruto a handjob while he measured up the courage to do it. He had given a blowjob only once before, and that had been with Sasuke, which was different. ‘Okay, here goes…’

He started with a lick. Well… That taste needed some getting used to… He wrapped his lips around the plump head and sucked. He got a throaty sound from Naruto, and counted that as a positive thing. He pressed the cock deeper into his mouth, mindful of his teeth, and pressed his tongue up against it, just like Naruto had done to him.

This time he was pretty sure the sound that came from Naruto was a groan. He figured he should find out how deep he could go, so he started bobbing his head slowly, taking in more for each time. Naruto’s grunts and groans were coming more rapidly now, and Kiba took it as a sign he was doing something right. But when Naruto started thrusting upwards, Kiba pulled back.

“Sorry,” Naruto murmured. “Too much?”

Kiba didn’t answer. Instead he took the tip of Naruto’s cock back into his mouth. He sucked and lapped at the tip, and used his hand on the base of Naruto’s cock. Naruto moaned and started rubbing his hands up Kiba’s thigh, and up to his ass. He squeezed his butt, and started parting the cheeks. Kiba slapped his hand away with ferocity.

“Fuck off, Naruto,” he growled.

“Sorry, my hands wander.” He didn’t sound sorry. He sounded smug.

But Kiba was too occupied with what he was doing to bother pointing that out. He snaked a hand around the back of Naruto’s thigh while he started going deeper on Naruto. When Naruto thrust upwards, Kiba snaked his hand under Naruto’s butt and caressed the seam of his ass. It was all smooth and firm, and that caught Kiba a bit unaware. But he figured he liked it.

Naruto groaned even louder, and Kiba sucked hard on the tip of his cock, rubbing his tongue along the slit. When Naruto tried to thrust up again, Kiba let his fingers slip in between Naruto’s buttocks. To his surprise, Naruto didn’t react with anger but instead he groaned louder. Kiba figured he’d try something. He sucked Naruto harder, and pushed his finger against the small, puckered hole. Naruto gasped and came in his mouth.

Kiba gagged and turned away, Naruto’s jizz covering his cheek in stead. He let what had come into his mouth dribble out onto Naruto’s stomach.

“You could have warned me,” he growled.

“S’rry…”

After having rubbed away Naruto’s come from his cheek, Kiba turned to Naruto with a big grin.

“I knew you liked something up your ass,” he said.

Naruto frowned and tried to kick him, but missed spectacularly.

“Fuck you,” he muttered. “That was sneaky.”

Kiba couldn’t stop grinning. There was a constant competition between them, something unsaid that they both just instinctually felt, and they both knew that Naruto had lost pretty damn hard against Kiba this time.

“Fuuuck,” Naruto muttered and covered his eyes with his arm.

“You didn’t know you liked it, did you?” Kiba said with an eyebrow-wriggle. “I was the first one to touch you there, right?”

Naruto just grunted.

“So Sasuke doesn’t… He’s never tried…?”

“No, he doesn’t top.”

“He doesn’t even want to?”

“I don’t know… He’s never mentioned it…”

Kiba flopped down next to Naruto and leaned on his chest.

“Don’t look so fucking smug,” Naruto grumbled.

“I can’t help but wonder how you’d like my dick.”

“No one is gonna fuck me,” Naruto stated vehemently. And then he mumbled something afterwards that kinda took the assuredness out of his words.

“What did you say?” Kiba said and leaned closer.

“Except Sasuke,” Naruto repeated.

Kiba was surprised. “You’d like that?”

“I don’t know. But I think he’d be good. I think he’d be ruthless.”

“I think that’d be scary,” Kiba said, thinking of how controlling Sasuke could be even when he bottomed. Having him on top would be downright terrifying.

Naruto yawned and turned around so that Kiba slipped off him. “I’m gonna sleep,” he said. Kiba laid down next to him, arms behind his head. He hadn’t felt this content in a long time.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“For what?” Naruto murmured. He sounded like he was halfway to dreamland already.

“Just, you know… for allowing this.”

“… No prob,” Naruto said, his voice soft. A few seconds later, he was breathing evenly, fast asleep.

Kiba lay awake for a while longer, until he dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

 

\-----

 

Kiba woke up to messy sheets and a bed-headed Naruto sprawling out next to him, hogging more than half the bed. The sunlight came in through the huge window at the far wall, bathing the room in a warm, gentle light. Kiba got an idea. He found his phone and snapped a picture of Naruto in all his well-fucked glory.

‘Regrets?’, the caption read. He sent it to Sasuke.

He got an answer almost immediately. The picture was of Sasuke, lying on his bed, upper body bare and the picture cutting him right where his happy trail started. His dark eyes were looking somberly up at the camera. It was impossible to know if he was entirely naked or not, but Kiba’s brain was happily feeding him with suggestions.

The caption read, ‘You?’

Kiba huffed. He could play this game. He shook Naruto awake.

“Wh-ut…” Naruto groaned. He squinted against the bright light.

Kiba dove in and kissed him, and took a picture of it. Naruto just looked completely confused. Kiba sent the picture with the caption ‘Not really,’ and waited eagerly for Sasuke’s answer.

“What are you doing?” Naruto grumbled. He rolled over to see better.

“I’m just texting Sasuke. I wondered if he had regrets.”

“And what did he say?”

“He acted all indifferent.”

Naruto scoffed. “Of course.”

This time, the answer took a bit longer. When it came, Kiba just stared. The picture was of Sasuke, this time not showing his face, but instead it showed more of his body. It showed his back and ass, his upper body twisted a bit and his ass strutting out. And indeed, he was naked. ‘Still?’ it read.

“Let me see,” Naruto said.

“He beat us,” Kiba said, sending the phone to Naruto.

Naruto groaned. “Damn.”

He was still staring at the picture when a text ticked in on Kiba’s phone. Naruto showed it to him. It was from Sasuke; ‘why don’t you and Naruto come here?’

Kiba swallowed. “How far is it?”

“About ten miles. I can borrow Sakura’s car.”

“Are you sure?”

“She sure as hell shouldn’t mind.”

“Okay,” Kiba said, and they both dashed for their clothes.

 

\-----

 

“Ask him if he’s wet,” Naruto said as they sat in the car, speeding down the highway.

“What?” Kiba frowned. He guessed it was some kind of dirty talk, but he didn’t exactly want to be the one to dictate Naruto.

“He’ll know what it means. Here, take my phone.”

Kiba did what Naruto said, although he felt a bit awkward about it. Sasuke didn’t answer.

They didn’t speak the entire rest of the ride, and not until they were in the tiny hallway of Naruto’s apartment, did Naruto turn to Kiba. He’d just locked the door, and Kiba was taking off his coat, when Naruto suddenly grabbed him by the nape of his neck and kissed him. His lips closed over Kiba’s, hungrily, and he pushed him into the wall. Kiba returned the kiss after a second of surprise. Naruto pulled away briefly to tug off his coat, before he dove in for another kiss. This time, Kiba pushed against him, fighting for dominance over the kiss. They tore away from each other when the kissing started to border on abusive.

Naruto kicked off his shoes, and Kiba did too, remembering why they were there. Naruto strode right through the living room and into the bedroom. Sasuke was lying on his side on the double bed. He looked up at them when they entered.

“Took you long enough,” he said.

He was wearing a blue silk robe. Naruto strode right over to him, crawled onto the bed and flipped Sasuke onto his back. The robe fell open. He was naked underneath, and his cock was fully erect.

And then Naruto did something that Kiba had not expected, but which was hot as hell. He opened his pants, put on a condom, and, with no foreplay or preparation of any sort, he just lay down between Sasuke’s legs and pressed into him. Sasuke gasped and threw his head back. His hands fisted in the back of Naruto’s sweater and he pushed the soles of his feet down into the mattress to steady himself. But he met each of Naruto’s thrusts without hesitation so he couldn’t be hurting. Suddenly Kiba realized; Sasuke had prepared beforehand. That’s why Naruto wanted him to send that text.

Kiba just stood there, unable to move or take his eyes off those two. Sasuke changed when he slept with Naruto. Whereas with Kiba he always seemed to be in some sort of control, with Naruto he seemed to loose absolutely every ounce of control. He threw his arms over his head, grabbing onto the bars of the headboard, and moaned without restraints. His legs opened wide, and he buried the heel of one foot right beneath one of Naruto’s ass cheeks.

Naruto changed too. He was thrusting like a wild animal, his movements punishingly hard, but fluid. Sasuke’s entire body arched up like a spring. Naruto grabbed him, held onto anything he could get his hands on; Sasuke’s thigh, his ass, his back. His thrusts got more erratic and Sasuke’s gasps were constant. Suddenly Naruto jolted forward and stilled, and Sasuke groaned softly.

“That was embarrassingly fast,” Sasuke murmured. Naruto’s breath was coming in gasps. He buried his face in the crook of Sasuke’s neck.

“Get off me,” Sasuke said, his voice gentle despite his words. Naruto rolled off him and collapsed to the side, eyes closed.

Sasuke sat up, still hard, and looked Kiba up and down. He smirked when he saw Kiba’s hesitancy.

“Come here.”

Kiba crawled onto the bed and stood on his knees in front of Sasuke. Sasuke opened his pants and took out his rock hard erection. He hissed softly when Sasuke ran his palm over it so lightly it was barely a hint of a touch. Sasuke smirked up at him, and then he lapped at the head of Kiba’s cock, not breaking eye contact. Kiba’s legs nearly buckled.

Sasuke ran his tongue over Kiba’s erection with teasing flicks, looking as content as a cat lapping milk.

Kiba had to steady himself with a hand to Sasuke’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of Sasuke’s wet tongue on his warm flesh. That tongue started getting firmer, pressing into the slit of his dick and pressing against the underside of the head. Suddenly, lips closed around the head of his cock, and Sasuke started sucking. Lightly at first, and then harder and harder, taking Kiba deeper into his mouth, becoming more and more insistent.

Kiba looked down at him and groaned. Sasuke was looking right back up at him, and when their gazes met, he smirked. He opened his mouth and poked out his tongue, cradling the tip of Kiba’s dick on it. Kiba groaned again. He grabbed Sasuke’s head and caressed his cheeks with his thumbs. Sasuke closed his eyes and hummed. Then he swallowed all of Kiba without warning, and Kiba jolted forwards, coming down Sasuke’s throat.

His sight got all woozy and black at the edges, and for a second all he could hear was the erratic pulsing of the blood in his veins. He felt Sasuke suck him clean with gentle licks, before he pulled away and steadied Kiba till he could sit down. Kiba sprawled out and just dozed off.

 

\-----

 

Naruto watched Sasuke and Kiba from where he was lying on the bed. He figured it wasn’t the worst view. Watching Sasuke do his magic from the sidelines was actually very hot. When Kiba lay down, Sasuke turned. He smiled when he saw that Naruto was watching him, and crawled over to him on all four.

“You’re wearing an awful lot of clothes,” Sasuke purred. “Should I help you with that?”

Naruto grinned and raised his arms over his head so that Sasuke could pull his t-shirt off. Then he arched up and wriggled out of his jeans and boxers. Sasuke cupped Naruto’s hardening dick in his hand.

“Did watching us make you hot?” he murmured.

“Mmm,” Naruto said. He ran his hands down Sasuke’s body and cupped a feel of his ass.

Sasuke nearly purred.

“How do you want me?” Naruto asked.

“I just want you hard,” Sasuke said. His hand worked on Naruto’s dick, and it was filling out fast. Sasuke coated him with lube, and straddled him. Naruto helped push him down onto his dick, pressing his hips down till Sasuke was sitting on him, filled entirely. Sasuke arched, letting out a silent groan. Naruto held him down, refusing to let him move. Instead he made Sasuke rock back and forth on top of him, rubbing him from the inside.

Sasuke’s fingers locked around Naruto’s arms, digging into his flesh, but he wasn’t strong enough to pry his arms away. Naruto grinned up at him.

“Work me slowly, Sasuke. You’re so fucking hot, babe.”

Sasuke groaned. Naruto allowed him to rock back and forth a little harder, allowing him to get some of that friction he craved. In his peripheral vision, he saw Kiba move. Sasuke noticed it too. He looked at Kiba and gasped his name. Naruto tensed a bit, holding Sasuke closer to him. Sasuke didn’t seem to notice. He reached out a hand, and Kiba came to him, embracing him and kissing him.

Sasuke moved more languidly on Naruto. Naruto let him move freely. He raised his hips higher and dropped down slowly, his insides molding around Naruto like a tight glove. Naruto moaned and ran his hand over Kiba’s back and down to his ass. Kiba started wriggling out of his pants, and Naruto jumped at the offer of more skin. He had one hand on Kiba’s ass, and one on Sasuke’s hip, he had Sasuke rocking on top of him and the view of two beautiful men making out. He felt his orgasm build up slowly but surely, like water filling up a cup.

Sasuke guided Kiba’s head downwards and moved a little slower so that Kiba cold catch up to their rhythm. Kiba started bobbing his head, slowly at first, and then he let Sasuke take over control. Sasuke’s hand carded through his hair, gently, his eyes hooded and fixed on Kiba’s mouth around his dick. Naruto watched Sasuke, the desire in his eyes, the pleasure softening his features, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He started moving his hips, thrusting up into Sasuke, forcing the two others to adapt to his rhythm.

Sasuke moaned and his dark eyes fixed on Naruto. His lips were parted. He twisted his fingers in Kiba’s hair. Kiba groaned and Sasuke threw his head back. He moaned brokenly and stilled. Kiba tried to pull back, but Sasuke had a good grip on his hair. Naruto watched that beautiful body arch, that pale neck offered up and that sweet mouth open. He thrust faster into Sasuke, close to release. Kiba pulled away and let Sasuke’s cum run out over his lips and dribble onto Naruto’s stomach. Naruto nearly came at the sight. He drew a shuddering moan, and his body shuddered. Sasuke moaned at the friction inside him as Naruto’s thrusts wavered.

Kiba turned towards Naruto and crawled over him, leaning down to kiss him. He transferred the remains of cum in his mouth to Naruto. Naruto grabbed his head and crushed him closer, sucking on his tongue and tasting the musk in his mouth. Suddenly, Sasuke lifted off him, and Naruto groaned. He felt Sasuke remove the condom, and then he pulled away entirely. Naruto broke away from the kiss to complain, but Kiba simply transferred the kisses from his mouth to his jaw and down his neck, nearly biting down on Naruto’s muscled shoulder.

“Fuck,” Naruto groaned.

He couldn’t even see Sasuke. He turned his head to the other side, and there he was, lying stretched out next to them, watching.

He smirked when Naruto looked at him. Before Naruto could say anything, Kiba grabbed him and flipped him around, placing a hand between his shoulder blades when Naruto tried to turn back around. Naruto tried to glare back at Kiba, but he couldn’t turn enough to see him.  

Sasuke threw the bottle of lube over to them, and Kiba grabbed it.

“Kiba,” Naruto growled in warning.

“I won’t do what you’re thinking,” Kiba said, his breathing labored. “Just keep your thighs pressed together.”

Naruto allowed it when Kiba’s slick cock pressed in between his thighs. He didn’t try to penetrate him, but instead he used the tight space between Naruto’s thighs as a passage. He immediately started fucking in earnest. Naruto squeezed his thighs tighter together, and Kiba jolted and held onto Naruto’s back, fucking harder.

Naruto lifted his hips slightly so that he could touch his cock, but Sasuke was there immediately and took him in his hand, setting a pace that matched Kiba’s. He leant down and kissed Naruto, who reciprocated like he’d tasted nothing sweeter his whole life. He grabbed the back of Sasuke’s neck and held him in place, and somehow, having Sasuke there within his reach reminded him of exactly why he was doing this.

He came first, into Sasuke’s hand that continued pumping him languidly until he was spent. Kiba came right afterwards, and Naruto felt warm cum drizzle down his thighs and over his balls. Kiba rolled off to the side and lay prone; one leg still hooked over one of Naruto’s.

“Thank you, baby,” Kiba teased, even though he barely had any breath left. Naruto turned and hit Kiba’s shoulder halfheartedly.

“If I had any strength left, I’d beat your ass.”

Kiba grinned and winked. “I bet you would.”

Sasuke snuggled up against Naruto’s side, and kissed his shoulder. Then he placed his head under Naruto’s chin and one hand on his chest. Kiba snuggled up against Naruto’s back, his forehead against the nape of his neck, and placed his hand over Sasuke’s, right over Naruto’s heart.

 

\-----

 

When Naruto woke up a little later, Sasuke was not in the bed with them. He found him by the kitchen table, working on his essay. Naruto leaned down and kissed the nape of Sasuke’s neck. Then he kissed his shoulder and his collarbone. His hands roamed down Sasuke’s chest.

“You’re wearing my flannel shirt,” he said with a grin.

Sasuke just shrugged. “It’s comfy.”

Naruto kissed the top of his head. “Do you want some food? I thought I’d order pizza.”

“Sounds good.”

Naruto ordered and went back to the bedroom. He crawled onto the bed, and since he was feeling bored he decided he’d wake up Kiba. So he leaned over and licked Kiba’s cheek. Kiba grunted and rubbed his cheek, muttering something that sounded like ‘goddamned dog’. Naruto nipped Kiba’s ear, and finally Kiba opened his eyes. He frowned at Naruto.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I thought you liked getting licked,” Naruto said with a wide grin.

Kiba grumbled and turned onto his other side.

“Hey, entertain me,” Naruto whined.

“I want to sleep.”

“But it’s the middle of the day…”

“I don’t care. Stop bothering me.”

Naruto pouted. He decided he’d try a different approach. He crawled closer to Kiba.

“I ordered pizza,” he said.

“Good for you,” Kiba grumbled.

“Don’t you want some?”

“Wake me up when its here.”

“That could be any minute. You might as well stay awake.”

Kiba sighed and rolled over onto his back.

“Fine.”

“Yess! Lets play CoD!”

Naruto grabbed Kiba’s arm and practically dragged him to edge of the bed. He turned on the TV and booted up the PlayStation. Kiba sat up and entwined the sheets around his waist.

“Do you still have our game saved?”

“Of course!”

Naruto sat down on the bed so it bounced.

“I never continued it because, you know, it was ours…"

“Cool…”

“And now I’m gonna crush you,” Naruto said with a wide grin.

“You wish,” Kiba retaliated. “You’ll never be able to even touch me. I’m superior in this game.”

“I think you mean _was.”_

By the time Sasuke told them the pizzas had arrived, they were spluttering obscenities at each other, eyes glued to the screen.

“I thought someone was getting killed in here,” Sasuke said.

Kiba and Naruto didn’t even have time to look up at him.

“Kiba’s just about to get his ass handed to him,” Naruto said.

“Fuck if I am,” Kiba growled.

Sasuke sighed. “If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen eating up the pizza,” he said before leaving.

“You wouldn’t,” Naruto yelled after him. “Your stomach’s the size of a pea.”

“Would he?” Kiba asked after a few moments.

“I’m not sure…” Their eyes were still glued to the screen. “He might do it just to piss us off…”

“Fuck… Okay, let’s pause the game.”

 

\-----

 

Kiba slept over that night. He woke in the middle of the night without knowing why. There hadn’t been any loud sounds, nothing that should have warranted his alertness. He rolled over and tried to fall asleep again, when he realized what was off. Sasuke was not in the bed with them. The apartment was dead quiet, and there came no light from underneath the door to the bathroom. Kiba got up and went into the living room. It was pitch dark in there, but against the window there was an outline of a person.

Sasuke was sitting on a chair close to the window, his shoulders hunched. Kiba went over to him and touched his shoulder. Sasuke jolted and stared up at Kiba with wide eyes.

“I… I didn’t know you were awake,” he said.

“What’s wrong?” Kiba asked.

Sasuke turned away. “Nothing. Just… bad dream. Can’t sleep.”

Kiba sat down next to him. “I could make you something. Mom used to make me warm milk when I couldn’t sleep.”

Sasuke shook his head. “It’s not… It’s not like that.”

“Then… What’s it like?”

“It’s just something I’ll have to figure out on my own. Just go back to bed. I’ll be there in a sec.”

Kiba didn’t know what else to say, so he stood, but before he could leave, Sasuke added;

“And please don’t tell Naruto.”

Kiba hesitated before saying, “Okay.”

He went back to bed and lay down, but found he couldn’t sleep. Sasuke didn’t come back, and finally Kiba just dozed off.

 

\------

 

\------

 

It had been four months since Christmas break, and Naruto hadn’t seen Sasuke even once in that time. They’d both been swamped with schoolwork now that Naruto was taking an undergraduate degree in social work, and on top of that, he also had to work at the club to be able to pay his bills. If Itachi had been living nearby still, he’d probably have offered to help Naruto, but since he was living with Shisui now, and Shisui lived a little farther off, Naruto didn’t see them so often anymore. He didn’t really see anyone so often anymore, except for Hyuuga Hinata. He’d bumped into her at the grocery shop and they’d started talking (or… he’d started talking) and then Naruto had invited her out because he was so stoked about meeting someone whom he sort of, almost, knew from school. And then they’d kept meeting every week or so. Hinata had loosened up slightly and were talking more freely now, although she still stammered and hid behind her hair at times… She was so strange.

He’d been keeping in contact with Lee too, but he’d probably have been in touch more often if Lee wasn’t dating his ex… He didn’t want to hang out with the two of them. Then he’d rather be alone.

It was late evening in the end of April when it occurred to Naruto that he hadn’t talked with Sasuke for almost a week. Normally, they talked every day, or at least every other day. In busy periods they talked maybe just twice a week but never a seldom as this. He decided he’d call Sasuke but only got his voicemail. He left a message and figured Sasuke would call him back when he had time.

He didn’t.

Naruto texted Sasuke the next day to hear if he was fine, since he didn’t have time to call between his classes and work. When he got no reply, he started getting worried. That night, he snuck away from work for a minute to call Sasuke. He knew it was late, but he needed to know if he was okay. He’d never ignored him like this before.

No one picked up.

Naruto figured Sasuke was sleeping, and decided he’d wait it out. But tomorrow he’d definitely talk to him, even if it meant he’d have to go all the way to Boston to do it.

 

\------

 

The relief was enormous when Naruto called the next morning and Sasuke picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hey,” he Naruto said.

“Hi,” Sasuke sounded clipped. He was also slightly breathless.

“What are you doing?” Naruto asked.

“Working out.”

“Sorry… Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Actually, it’d be better if you could call me later.”  
Only after Naruto hung up did his mind start to churn. Why was Sasuke working out at eight am? Was he really… working out? Naruto stood and started pacing. ‘Stop thinking such things’, he berated himself. If there was one thing he had learned about long distance relationships, it was to be tolerant. But what if…? NO. Just… no. He took a shower to get his mind over on other things for a while, and then he went to school determined to keep his mind positive.

It worked for a while, as long as he was talking to someone else. But at the end of the day, when he was back in his silent, empty apartment, the thoughts came back full force.

He had to talk to Sasuke immediately.

Sasuke answered at the second ring.

“Hi.”

“Hi…”

“How’re you doing?” Sasuke said.

“Why haven’t you called me back?” Naruto blurted out before he could think.

Sasuke was silent for a long moment. “You mean the other day? I’m sorry. I was really busy… It’s been crazy around here lately, with the finals and all that.”

“We haven’t talked for a week.”

“We messaged on… when was it, Sunday? That’s four days ago, Naruto.”

“But we always call at least once a week!”

“… I’m sorry Naruto… We lead different lives. I can’t always be on hold for you.”

“I know that, but… I don’t know… Just… Tell me if something is up, okay? I was worried that something had happened, or that… I don’t know. Just… text me, at least.”

“Okay. I can’t talk for much longer. We’ll catch up later.”

“… Okay…”

After they’d hung up, Naruto couldn’t help but feel that he should have said something more. He just didn’t know what.

 

\------

 

For the following few weeks, they hardly spoke and when they did, Sasuke was distant. Naruto was really busy with finals. He wanted to do it properly now, and not just half-assed like in high school, but he had to put down an immense amount of effort. Being good at school did not come easy for him…

He was so focused on going to school and working and keeping up his social life in between, that he didn’t notice that it’d been nearly two weeks since he’d spoken to Sasuke. He’d sent a few texts, asking how he was doing and if he was fine, but he’d just gotten short answers in kind. He knew that Sasuke wasn’t the most talkative person, and his texts were hardly very elaborated. But Naruto could sense that something was wrong. So he called again, and got no answer. He tried a few hours later. No answer. He tried the next day. No answer. In the evening Sasuke sent a text; ‘can’t talk, busy w school. Later.’

Why was he not answering? Had he… No. Naruto refused to think it, but he thought it never the less. Had Sasuke moved on? Had he found someone else? Naruto sat with the phone in his hand, his thumb hovering over the message button for an hour, wondering if he should just be straightforward. Have you moved on, Sasuke? If you have, just tell me… Just tell me what’s wrong.

 

\------

 

A week later, Itachi called. Naruto was surprised but happy because he hadn’t talked to Itachi in ages.

“Hi!” he said.

“Naruto,” Itachi said, and Naruto felt his heartdrop. He straightened up in his seat; Itachi sounded like he was attending a funeral. Naruto’s first thought was that something had happened to Shisui, but then it struck him… Sasuke.

“Have you talked to Sasuke lately?” Itachi said.

“Not in a while.” Naruto’s heart was beating wildly. “Why? What’s happened, Itachi?!”

“Naruto… Are you sitting down?”

“What the fuck, Itachi... Yes, I’m sitting.”

“…Okay… This is probably gonna come as a shock to you, but… I’ll start with the least bad news. Sasuke, he… he’s failed over half of his exams.”

Naruto just sat there, staring at the wall, for a long few seconds.

“What?!” he breathed out, incredulous. “But he told me… He said he had a lot of schoolwork to do… And he’d never… Sasuke would never fail an exam! He’s too good! What the fuck are you talking about Itachi?!”

“I know, Naruto… But that’s not the worst part. The reason why I’m even aware of this is because I got a call from the police last night.”

If Naruto hadn’t been sitting, his knees would have buckled.

“Itachi…!” He choked out. He couldn’t believe…. It couldn’t be…

“Sasuke’s fine,” Itachi hurried to say. “But just barely. He overdosed last night.”

Naruto was starting to hyperventilate. “Fuck,” he murmured and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. For a second he felt lightheaded. He couldn’t believe what Itachi was saying. Was this a bad dream? He would have known, right? If things were bad with Sasuke, he would have known! He was the person closest to Sasuke! But a small voice in the back of his head disagreed with that. ‘You wouldn’t have known,’ it said. ‘Because you didn’t pay attention. You let him push you away. And all you did was to sit there and angst about Sasuke finding someone else.’

“Naruto?” Itachi said. He sounded worried. “Naruto, are you there?”

“… Yeah…” Naruto barely managed to speak. His chest felt so restricted it was difficult to breathe.

“Take a deep breath,” Itachi said. His voice was calm, a firm point which Naruto could hold on to. He concentrated on breathing.

“Do you want to come see him?” Itachi asked.

“Yes,” Naruto whispered. “Itachi… Can I talk to him now…?”

Itachi hesitated. “… He’s asleep right now, Naruto. And visiting hours are soon over. But I’ll book you a flight tonight. Should I ask Shisui to come over?”

“No, you don’t need to… I don’t want to bother him.”

“He wouldn’t be bothered. You should at least stay with someone. I don’t want you to be alone…”

“It’s fine, I’ll… I’ll call someone…”

“Promise me that. I’ll call you back to let you know when your plane leaves.”

After Itachi hung up, Naruto just stayed in the same position for a long, long while. His thought’s kept circling like confused sheep. Was this really happening? It didn’t feel real… He kept imagining how Sasuke had gotten to this point, how he must have really felt when he was having a calm, controlled conversation with Naruto… He was always so fucking controlled. It was impossible to know if he was tearing apart inside or not!

Naruto suddenly shot to his feet, and swiped the content of the nearest table to the floor. A vase crashed against the floor, spilling porcelain over Naruto’s feet. A bowl with an assortment of coins and batteries flew across the floor and spewed it’s content all over the living room. Naruto just stood there, his fists clenching, fighting to catch his breath. As he stood there, tears started falling, and then he crouched together around the sobs shaking his body. He cried until he was dry. When his head started clearing, he realized he needed to talk with someone. But whom?

The answer wasn’t so difficult.

Kiba answered at the second ring.

“Hey, man!”

“Hi…”

“… Naruto? Are you okay?”

“I’m… No… Not really…” And then he started sobbing again, and it was fucking embarrassing and awkward. But Kiba waited patiently until he’d calmed down, and then he listened to Naruto’s explanation of what had happened.

“God… That’s… Shit, I had no idea… Is he all right?”

Naruto confirmed that.

“ Okay… that’s good, at least. You know there isn’t much you could have done. He wanted to hide it from you. Actually… Um… Shit, man… I should have told you, but… I woke up one night, you know, when I was with you guys, and I went looking for Sasuke because he was not in the bed. When I found him, he was… I don’t know… He looked a little down. I’ve never seen him like that before. I think he didn’t intend me to see him like that either, but… I dunno, I felt like it wasn’t my table. He told me not to tell you, and I didn’t… Now I feel like a jerk.”

Naruto shook his head, although he knew Kiba couldn’t see it.

“Already then? Oh God.... You couldn’t know, but I should have known, though. Somehow… I should have seen it. I should have been more attentive…”

“You can’t think like that, Naruto… Sasuke wanted to hide it, and he did it really, fucking well. I don’t think you could have figured it out even if you had asked him straight out about it.”

“But I… I noticed something was off. I just thought he was getting tired of me or something.” Naruto snorted. “I made it all about myself.”

“Who wouldn’t have? We’re just wired that way.” Neither of them said anything for a while. “You said you were gonna see him tomorrow?” Kiba asked.

“Yeah… I have no idea what I should say or do…”

“Well… I don’t have any advice to give in that regard.”

Naruto sighed. “I just hope… I hope he hasn’t changed or anything. I keep imagining his eyes all…soulless, looking right past me like I don’t exist.”

“I don’t think Sasuke could ever see past you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you…”

“You mean… he looks at me in a special way?”

Kiba chuckled. “Very special, yeah. And you know, if even I can see it…”

Naruto smiled. There was a moment of silence. “Thank you,” Naruto said at last. “I guess I feel a tiny bit better now.”

“So you wont do something drastic after we’ve hung up?”

Naruto snorted. “Like what?”

“I dunno… Like getting drunk and calling Sasuke one million times?”

“I would never do that!”

“Whatever you say. Just stay away from the liqueur.”

“Fine. See ya, dogface.”

“Later, loser.”

 

\------

 

When Sasuke woke up, the first person he saw was Itachi. His brother looked tired and drawn, his skin translucent, dark rings under his eyes. He leaned over Sasuke and Sasuke started crying. Just like that. Itachi held him. He didn’t say a word, but it was all there in his touch. He held Sasuke like he feared he’d disappear if he let go.

“I’m sorry,” Itachi murmured, again and again. Sasuke didn’t notice at first, and when he did he didn’t understand why Itachi was saying it.

“I should be saying that,” Sasuke said. His throat was raw from all the crying. “I hurt you. I’m sorry…”

“No....I could have done more. I should have protected you…”

“You can’t protect me from myself, Itachi.”

Itachi held Sasuke tighter because he knew it was true.  


\------

 

When Naruto arrived, Sasuke was asleep. Itachi left them alone. Naruto sat down by Sasuke’s bed and just stared at him. Had he looked this gaunt the last time he saw him? No… he didn’t think so. He would have noticed that… But Sasuke had been thin when he visited during Christmas-vacation too. Naruto just hadn’t thought it was something serious. He hadn’t looked sick or anything. Not like now.

Naruto reached out and caressed Sasuke’s cheek. He stroked his skin with a feather light touch, afraid to startle Sasuke. Sasuke always was a light sleeper. Now he slept on without even twitching. Naruto brushed away some limp, black strands of hair from Sasuke’s forehead. His hair was so brittle and frizzy. He hadn’t been taking care of it.

Naruto sat there for maybe half an hour before Sasuke finally woke up. When he saw Naruto, he looked so confused.

“Naruto…?” he whispered. His voice was just as brittle as the rest of him looked.

Now that Sasuke was awake, Naruto’s emotions overwhelmed him in a way he hadn’t been prepared for. He bent forward and buried his face in his hands, sobbing like a child.

Sasuke sat up and tried to comfort him by petting his back. His touch was hesitant and awkward. Naruto wanted him to touch him more. He crawled onto the bed and buried his face in the crook of Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke wrapped his arms around him and rested his cheek on Naruto’s head, and they stayed that way until Naruto had calmed down.

“Sorry,” he said and sat up, wiping away his tears. “I was supposed to be here for you, but all I can do is cry.”

Sasuke smiled weakly. It looked like he was out of practice. Like his body couldn’t muster up the energy to do even that much.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t notice,” Naruto said. He was sitting at the edge of the bed. “I should have asked you… I should have pried… Hell, I should have just visited you!”

Sasuke shook his head. “You can’t blame yourself. Don’t do it, please. It makes me feel worse.”

“But I could have prevented-“

Sasuke touched Naruto’s arm to make him shut up.

“Just don’t,” he whispered.

Naruto shut his mouth. He looked at Sasuke’s face. He was looking away out the window.

“How are you feeling?” Naruto asked.

“Probably exactly as I look. Like shit.”

Naruto leant down and kissed Sasuke gently on the lips. “You don’t look like shit. You always look beautiful. I’ve even seen the nurses staring at you.”

Sasuke snorted, but he kissed Naruto back.

“What… what happened?” Naruto whispered.

Sasuke turned away. He went silent, and Naruto thought he didn’t want to talk about it. He was just about to say something else when Sasuke spoke.

“I… missed you…” he whispered.

Naruto felt like he’d been stabbed in the chest… Oh no… It was his fault.

“And don’t even think for a second that it was your fault,” Sasuke added. “I could have come to you… But I didn’t. It’s like… When we were apart for so long, I forget how it used to be. How I could talk to you about everything. I don’t remember who we used to be anymore… I don’t trust my memory. It’s just like a fairytale I’ve recorder for myself. It can’t be real. I couldn’t have been that happy… So I… I tried to distract myself. And it got out of hand. I just drifted farther away from you… And from myself…”

Suddenly, Naruto realized how _not_ okay Sasuke were. He’d known that he had certain issues, he’d been dating him for two years after all, and he’d known from the start that there were a lot more going on under Sasuke’s surface than he let on. He’d just not had any idea of exactly how bad it could get.

But if it could get this bad… Then… How much was it in truth that Naruto didn’t know about Sasuke? Naruto wanted to ask Sasuke if he’d overdosed on purpose, or if it’d been an accident… But he was too afraid of the answer. If he’d done it on purpose, then he had no idea what to do. He wanted to wrap himself around Sasuke and protect him forever, but he couldn’t exactly do that, and he knew it. So he settled for just holding him until the nurses came and told him visiting hours were over.

 

\-----

 

They took in at a hotel, since the school still hadn’t taken a decision about Sasuke’s destiny. Most probably he’d be suspended. They talked little, both of them having more than enough on their minds. But their silence was not awkward, thankfully. It didn’t feel like they had drifted apart, despite everything that had happened. Naruto mused about that as he readied for bed. He supposed that, despite all the things they didn’t know about each other, their relationship still built on a lot of trust. When he thought back on it, how many relationships could have survived being long distance and involving other parties in their sex life, and still be this strong? Maybe it was because of all those things? They knew that there was little that could break them apart… But then again, this time it’d almost happened. Naruto remembered his doubt, and thought about Sasuke saying exactly the same. They had forgotten how it had used to be, and they’d started doubting each other.

When Sasuke came into the bathroom and hugged Naruto from behind, Naruto turned and kissed him… toothbrush still in his mouth. Sasuke spluttered.

“Sowwy,” Naruto said, grinning sheepishly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Naruto watched Sasuke as he brushed his teeth. He was wearing a t-shirt that probably fit him at some point, but now it looked at least one size too big. How much weight had he lost?

“You’re so skinny,” Naruto said as he ran a hand down Sasuke’s arm. He could feel the bones in his elbow so well he could probably use it as anatomical reference for bone structure.

He kissed the back of Sasuke’s neck. “I’ll have to fatten you up.”

Sasuke spit and rinsed, and then he snorted. “How are you gonna do that? Feed me with ramen?”

“Ramen is good for the body! It’s full of proteins and carbs, and it’ll make you gain weight in no time!”

“It’s full of _fat_ and carbs. But you’re right about one thing: it’ll make me gain weight in no time.”

They lay down in the huge double bed and got comfortable. Naruto cuddled up as close to Sasuke as he could possibly come without lying on top of him. Sasuke was lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling with a distant expression.

“Don’t you sometimes wish you could talk about your past?” he asked in a hushed voice.

Naruto thought about it. “I have to admit, I don’t really feel that way.”

“Sometimes… I feel like my past has a chokehold on me… Like it’s a thorn stuck deep within me. I can’t reach it… I can’t remove it… But I can feel it every day, every second… Digging it’s way into my core.”

“My past is painful too,” Naruto said in a hushed tone. “But… I guess it doesn’t control me anymore.”

“I don’t understand how you could get over it. What you’ve told me is awful, and I think there’s a lot you’re not telling me that is probably worse.”

They lay there in silence. Naruto was combing his fingers through Sasuke’s hair. He didn’t know if it calmed Sasuke, but it was calming him. He was about to doze off when Sasuke murmured something.

“My… my mother died of an overdose.”

Naruto’s heart nearly stopped. He didn’t dare say a word out of fear he’d break the moment and make Sasuke retract back into his shell.

“I come from a upper class family,” Sasuke continued saying. “My parents were so rich they didn’t know what to do with all their money. I suppose you could say that I was neglected as a child. My mother – Itachi told me this later – she was suffering from depression. When she wasn’t high, she was arranging flowers like her life depended of it… and it probably did. The smell of hydrangea always reminds me of my mother… she loved that flower. She could fill an entire room with them. I remember playing adventurers in the jungle with Itachi when she was at her worst. Our entire house was covered in flowers.”

Sasuke paused for a long while. When he continued talking, his voice was small.

“She overdosed on pain meds.”

Naruto held Sasuke tighter. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Sasuke swallowed. “A year later, my father died,” he continued. “He killed himself. He had a small gun… a revolver. He shot himself in his bedroom. It was me who found him. I was… eight, I think. Yes, I was eight. There was dried blood on the bed and he was lying there… on his stomach, but his head was turned so that I could see his face. I didn’t understand that he was dead at first. I just wondered why he looked so funny. Although… I think I understood that something was wrong, because I remember this feeling of dread… Like… When you watch a horror movie, and you know something is gonna happen soon. I started shaking him, but he wouldn’t move. He just wouldn’t get up… And his eyes were just staring at me, unblinking… He never really looked at me and now, even in death, he was just staring right past me…”

Naruto had no idea what to say or do. Sasuke sounded so somber while he spoke, like he was reciting someone else’s experiences.

“Sasuke…” he said, his voice choked. “You don’t need to tell me this if you don’t want to…”

“No… I want to. I… need to.” He was silent for a long while, but Naruto didn’t let up on his hold on him.

“I… I haven’t told you this before,” Sasuke said, “but I’ve tried to… to commit suicide once before.”

Naruto squeezed him so hard he was sure he’d complain any second. He was fighting hard not to yell at Sasuke for being so stupid while simultaneously breaking into tears of despair, knowing Sasuke had actually tried to remove himself from this world permanently. What if Naruto had never met him? What if he’d have to live without Sasuke the rest of his life? The thought was unbearable.

“I was 14.” Sasuke carried on, relentlessly. It was like he was determined to pour out a lifetime of pain in one go. “Schoolwork had been piling up, and… Itachi was very busy with work. He could be away for ten hours a day… He never noticed… He knew I had certain issues, but he didn’t think it was that bad. I never really showed him how bad it was, but at that time I’d been going to a lot of parties… at least every weekend, and I did things when I was inebriated that scared me. I had sex with people I didn’t know and I ended up doing things that I normally wouldn’t do…” Sasuke trailed of.

“I overdosed on sleeping pills… I’d been saving up because I’d been seeing a shrink and I’d gotten prescriptions… Itachi panicked when he found me. I was unconscious. He thought I was dead. He told me later that for a second, he died a little too. After that he decided to set up home office so he could be closer to me. I tightened the control I had on myself so that I wouldn’t do it to him again, but I… I guess I never really healed....”

Sasuke lay in silence for a short while. Suddenly his body started shaking.

“I wish I could be numb,” he murmured. Naruto ran his fingers through Sasuke’s hair, again and again and again, in an incessant pattern that bordered on compulsive.

“In the beginning,” Sasuke said, his voice nearly a whisper. “I used our sex as way of distraction. No one could distract me as well as you could. When we fucked, I forgot about everything, if just for a little while… But when you made love to me…You made me feel so much. No one else has ever done that. No one else have ever cared enough to make sure I’m feeling good, to take care of me. When you’re affectionate, I want to run away. I don’t know what to do with those feelings… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry I can’t make you happy. I just… I can’t give back what you give me. I… I’d understand if you want to leave me…” Sasuke nearly choked out the last few words.

He bowed his head to hide his face from sight. Tears had started streaming down his cheeks.

“When you started taking me for granted, I felt panicky,” he continued. “I don’t know if I’m going to loose you any second. Maybe you’ll get tired of me. And now that we’ve been apart for so long… My thoughts get darker and darker. I’m preparing for the day when I come home and you’re no longer there. I imagine… I imagine you leaving me because you’ve found someone else. And then… instead of doing the opposite, instead of trying to keep you closer, I push you away… And I have no idea why I do that, Naruto… I’m just-”

Naruto placed a hand over Sasuke’s mouth.

“I would never, ever leave you,” he whispered hoarsely. “Never. I promise you that.”

For some reason, his words were making Sasuke cry harder.

Naruto wasn’t unfamiliar with comforting people, but seeing Sasuke break down was unnerving. It made him afraid. Sasuke was the last person he’d expected to have a breakdown. He was the one that always had control, the one that always kept his cool.

“Please Sasuke,” Naruto whispered. “I’d never leave you. I’d do anything for you. I love you.”

Naruto ran his fingers through Sasuke’s hair, whispering reassurances until Sasuke slowly calmed down. Finally he stopped sobbing. He turned his head and nuzzled close to Naruto’s chest.  

They lay there in companionable silence for a long while. Naruto listened to Sasuke’s breathing as it evened out, getting deeper and more regular, and only then did he start crying.

Now he understood better why Sasuke couldn’t accept love. But as long as they lived he’d give the both of them enough love to last them through a lifetime.

 

\------

 

Sasuke wasn’t suspended from school. He was expelled. He took it more calmly than Naruto had expected; a little too calmly, perhaps. Naruto had a feeling Sasuke was repressing his feelings again.

“You can show anger, you know,” Naruto said when they were in the airport waiting for their flight. “You can scream and destroy something, if that’s what you want to. I can even be your punching bag.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I know that. And no, I won’t use you as my punching bag. Are you masochistic or something?”

“Okay then… Well, I challenge you to hit something. Take for example… My bag. Hit it. I dare you.”

Sasuke just leveled him with the most indifferent look in his repertoire.

“I won’t do that. Not in an airport full of people.”

“But if you were alone?”

“What do you know? Maybe I hit things all the time when I’m alone.”

“If you’d done that, then we wouldn’t be here now."

Sasuke turned away with a huff. “When did you become a shrink?”

Naruto just shrugged. “Fine. But I’ll make you show some feelings sooner or later.”

 

\-----

 

Sasuke moved in with Naruto. In the beginning, Itachi, Shisui and Naruto took turns staying with Sasuke. For two weeks he did nothing but sleep and walk around like a zombie, never leaving the house unless it was to attend therapy sessions. Naruto had to practically force him to eat. He also tried to force him to meet his friends, but Sasuke wouldn’t budge at that point. So one day, Naruto invited Hinata home, without telling Sasuke until five minutes before they arrived. Sasuke was pretty damn pissed, but he didn’t act hostile against Hinata, and they actually had a (passably) nice lunch together. Sasuke threw a few barbs, but Hinata took it surprisingly well. After she’d left, Naruto expected to get skinned. In stead, Sasuke just offhandedly said, “She’s got a major crush on you.”

“She has not!” Naruto was flabbergasted.

“She has, Naruto. It’s plain as day.”

“But she knows I’m with you.”

“Maybe she hopes that you’ll come to your senses one day.”

Naruto hesitated for a while before asking the question that was at the tip of his tongue. “Are you jealous?”

“Of ‘walking boobs’? Yes.”

“But why?!”

“Why? Because she’s got boobs, for one. And I know you like boobs, even if you’re trying to deny it right now.”

Naruto clamped his mouth shut. He had been about to deny it.

“Also, she’s cute and sweet and she doesn’t fight you at every turn. And she’s sane.”

“But she isn’t you.”

“Thank god for that. I’d pity her.”

Sasuke turned away and pretended to be folding some clothes, but his hands were shaking.

Naruto walked up to him and embraced him. “I won’t leave you for her, or for anyone. I’ll always be with you, no matter what happens.”

“If you were anyone else,” Sasuke whispered. “I’d have said ‘that’s bullshit’… But you are actually hardheaded enough to mean it.”

Naruto pecked Sasuke’s cheek. “You’re starting to get it.”

 

\-----

 

Summer vacation came about and Naruto was so relieved. Finally he’d have enough time to meet the friends he hadn’t seen since Christmas, and sleep in every morning, and pester Sasuke into making him pancakes for breakfast.

“I’m not making pancakes.”

“Pleeeease?”

“No.”

“Pretty pleeease?”

“No!”

“But they’re just pancakes!”

“Make them yourself.”

“I just burn them.”

“Then get better at it.”

“Sasukeee…” Naruto pouted, hoping that’d do the trick. No such luck. He’d have to use the final card… the mean card. He hated to use it, but this was a dire situation and it called for dire methods.

“But I pay all the bills and you don’t do anything, Sasuke…”

“Fine!”

Success!

 

\-----

 

“Kiba asks if we want to meet him,” Naruto said. He had just been looking through his e-mail.

Sasuke became very silent.

Naruto had to look up to make sure he was still in the room. He stood by the closet, staring into it with that empty look Naruto had come to hate.

“Sasuke…?”

“Sure. When?”

“I don’t know… What about tomorrow?”

“Okay.”

There was something distant in Sasuke’s voice. Naruto had gotten better at noticing when his mood switched, and he could definitely feel a major switch right now.

“Do you not want to meet him?”

“I said it was fine, didn’t I?”

“Yes… But…” Naruto hesitated. If he said ‘It didn’t sound like you meant it,’ Sasuke would get angry. He had to thread carefully. 

“But we haven’t seen him for a long time, and the last time we were… I don’t know… In a different place. So I’m not sure, you know… where we stand anymore.”

“… I’m…”

Naruto sat up at the vulnerable tone in Sasuke’s voice.

“I’m not sure I can see him right now.”

Naruto couldn’t see Sasuke’s face, since he had turned away, but he could understand the pain in his voice. He stood and embraced Sasuke.

“Then we don’t need to see him,” he murmured. He had no idea why Sasuke reacted like that, but he had learned to roll with the punches. Or, the mood-swings as it were.

“But…” Sasuke said. “Can you go? Can you tell him… tell him that I’m… No, I have to do that myself.” Sasuke sighed. “Just tell him that our deal no longer stands.”

Naruto kissed Sasuke’s cheek and hugged him tighter.

“I will.”  


\------

 

Naruto poured out his heart to Kiba. It felt good to talk about everything that had happened to someone that would understand.

“He’s different now,” Naruto said. “He… He’s lost his edge, if you know what I mean? He’s like an… I was about to say empty shell, but it’s more like the opposite. He’s like, what was underneath that shell all the time. It’s like the shell is gone and now he doesn’t know what to do with himself.”

Naruto leaned on the table, his chin resting in his hand.

“I think I love him even more now.”

Kiba chuckled. “I think you’ve had enough to drink.”

They sat for a while in companionable silence, listening to the deep thrum of the music in the bar.

“I don’t think we can… go back to how we were,” Naruto said suddenly.

Kiba looked puzzled.

“I mean… Us,” Naruto motioned between them. “And Sasuke.”

Kiba frowned. “You mean… We’re not gonna sleep together again?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I had to tell you that…” Naruto frowned. Should he be sorry about that? He wasn’t sure. It was all so confusing.

Kiba shook his head. “I understand that. Sasuke’s not…  It doesn’t seem like he knows what he want. I didn’t even think about asking that of you guys.”

“He should have told you himself. I mean…he’s the one who got us into it. But…he’s not…” Naruto sighed. “He’ll come about.”

Kiba shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, Naruto… We all screwed up. But… It was fun while it lasted.”

“Are you…um, are you heartbroken or something? Sasuke told me that you…might have feelings for him. I mean… I know you had, at some point, but that you had really _strong_ feelings for him.”

Kiba shrugged again. He looked away. “I don’t know. Maybe I had, maybe I didn’t. All I know is that it was fucking difficult to get over him, but after we hooked up… I dunno, I just stopped worrying about it. It’s like…when I knew I could have him, I was just all cool with not seeing him. So I guess it wasn’t love. It was just…desire.”

Naruto sat back in his chair. “Now I really don’t want you to be near him.”

Kiba raised his hands in surrender. “I won’t. Cool down man. I’m backing up for real this time.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to hurt you, you know?” Naruto crossed his arms, trying to look intimidating. It wasn’t successful with the way he swayed slightly.

Kiba chuckled. “I’m glad we’ve been through what we did. No matter how strange it sounds, I don’t think we’d kept in contact if it hadn’t been for Sasuke.”

“He split us up and then he brought us together again. I guess we’ve come full circle.”

“Cheers to that.”

 

\------

 

When Naruto came back that night, he tried to be silent so that he wouldn’t wake Sasuke up, but he tripped at least ten times, and when he came to the bedroom he stumbled onto the bed, falling flat on his face on the mattress. He swore softly as he tried to wriggle out of his clothes. His pants were stuck at his feet and he couldn’t understand why, until he remembered that he’d forgotten to take his shoes off.

Sasuke turned around when Naruto finally crawled under the sheets.

“Hi babe,” Naruto slurred. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

Sasuke kissed him. “You stink.”

“Sorry…” Naruto murmured. “I’ll shower tomorrow.”

Naruto was about to fall asleep, but before he drifted off he grabbed Sasuke and pulled him close. “I love you, Sasske,” he murmured.

Sasuke snuggled close to him.

“Dork,” he said. “… I love you too.”

 

\------

 

One day, Hinata came by and Sasuke answered the door.

“H…hi…” Hinata looked down at her hands. “Um… Is Naruto in?”

Sasuke moved to stand in the middle of the doorway, a clear signal that he didn’t want her to come in. “How come?”

“I…I was supposed to meet him today. He said I could just come up…” Hinata trailed off.

“Oh, right. Now that you mention it, Naruto went out five minutes ago. He told me to tell you to meet him at the mall.”

“Oh? T-that’s strange… He could have sent a message.”

Sasuke glared at her and Hinata backed up. “Um… B-but okay… T-thank you for telling me.” Hinata hurried away, almost stumbling over her own feet.

Sasuke glared after her until she’d gone. He closed the door and went into the living room. Naruto stuck his head out from the bathroom. “Was that Hinata?”

“No, just someone selling bibles.”

“Bibles?” Naruto murmured to himself, puzzled.

Half an hour later, he came into the bedroom where Sasuke was sitting cross-legged on the bed, computer in front of him.

“Hinata is really late… That’s strange.”

“She called your phone while you were in the bathroom. Said something came up."

“Hm… There my plans went out the window…”

He crawled onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s waist.

“What are you doing, my sweet boyfriend?” he muttered against the nape of Sasuke’s neck. “Are you plotting the demise of the world? You know, you’d make a pretty hot villain…”

Sasuke turned to peck him. “And then what’d that make you? The stupid superhero that runs around in spandex?”

“Well… I was thinking more like, ‘the super smart, super sexy superhero who spanks your ass when you’ve been naughty,” Naruto said, and smacked Sasuke’s ass for emphasis.

To his surprise, Sasuke laughed. Naruto laughed too. He hadn’t heard Sasuke laugh since… When was it again? He couldn’t remember.

“My superpower would be to make you laugh,” he said and tickled Sasuke, and Sasuke laughed harder.

“Stop it!” He demanded, and then he nearly squealed when Naruto tickled him harder. He tried to hit and kick Naruto, but Naruto had him trapped beneath him.

“There’s no way you can escape from me, sexy evildoer,” he said in his best impression of a valiant superhero.

Sasuke retaliation to that was to wriggle his arm in between them and squeeze Naruto’s cock.

“Oh, that ass definitely needs some spanking,” Naruto groaned and pressed Sasuke’s ass against his crotch.

Sasuke was still chuckling when Naruto started lavishing his neck with kisses.

“How do you wish to take your punishment? On all fours or on your back?” Naruto said.

“I’ll take it whichever way my master deems fitting,” Sasuke purred, his dark eyes flashing with mischief.

“Holy fuck…”

This was going to be good.

 

\------

 

“Hi, Kiba,” Naruto said into his phone. “What’s up?”

“Hey man, I was just wondering about something. I met Hinata the other day, outside the mall. She told me she’d been waiting for you an hour, so I took her out to dinner to compensate. Did you forget you were supposed to meet her? She was pretty upset.”

“What? No… I thought she called to cancel. Why was she waiting outside the mall anyway? I told her to come by my flat.”

“She said she talked to Sasuke.”

Realization dawned on them at the same exact moment.

“He sent her away!” Kiba growled.

Naruto just sighed. “Tell Hinata I’m sorry, okay? I honestly had no idea...”

 

\------

 

When Sasuke came back from the part-time job at a men’s clothes shop that he’d so grudgingly accepted, Naruto was waiting for him.

“Why did you lie to Hinata?” He said the second Sasuke came inside the door of the apartment.

“Where did that come from?”

“Don’t play innocent. I talked with Kiba, and he said he met Hinata waiting for me outside the mall the other day. She’d been waiting for an hour.”

Sasuke lifted his hands in a placating motion. “Calm down, Naruto. Yes, I lied to her. I wanted to make a point. But I had no idea she would be stupid enough to wait for you for an entire hour.”

Sasuke edged past Naruto and went to the kitchen to unpack the groceries he was carrying.

“You didn’t need to be so mean,” Naruto said, but there was no real anger behind the words. He was actually kind of flattered that Sasuke got so jealous.

He wrapped his arms around Sasuke and pulled him close. “You’re a really bad person, did you know that?” He said, nuzzling Sasuke’s hair.

“I’m just marking my territory,” Sasuke purred, turning to catch Naruto’s lips in a kiss.

“Mmm…”

Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s thighs and hoisted him onto the counter. Sasuke gasped and then a breathy laugh escaped him.

“Naruto,” he murmured, and kissed him with a gentle sensuality that made Naruto’s blood run hot faster than any dirty teasing could.

“I love you so much,” he whispered and pulled away so that he could look Sasuke in the eyes.

“You know that, right?”

Sasuke looked so somber when he met Naruto’s eyes. For once, he didn’t wear his mask of indifference.

“Yeah,” he said, lowering his eyelashes to hide his eyes. He smiled. “I know.”

Naruto grabbed his chin and encouraged him to look up.

“Don’t hide,” Naruto whispered. The sunlight was giving their kitchen a warm, soft glow that seemed to encompass Sasuke. In this light, his eyes looked grey instead of black. Naruto realized it was the first time he’d seen the pupils in Sasuke’s eyes so clearly.

Sasuke swallowed. “I… I love you too,” he said. His voice was barely above a whisper.

Naruto smiled.

“You’re beautiful, my love.”

You’re so beautiful.

 

\-----

 

\-----

 

Naruto didn’t see Hinata so often after that. But one month later, she and Kiba started dating. So Sasuke kinda did something good after all.

 

\-----

 

Hinata wasn’t exactly complaining. She got to see Naruto pretty often, without Sasuke looking like he wanted to kill her. And Kiba got to hang out with his best friend without stealing time from Hinata and Sasuke. Right now they were in a bar, hanging out together like they had taken to doing lately. Hinata had lied to her parents and told them that she was staying the night at a friends place. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them…

There was one thing that had used to bother her in the beginning. It hadn’t taken her long to notice that something was off with the dynamic of their group. When they were together, she would catch Kiba watching Sasuke like he wanted to… to _devour_ him or something. There was a dark, smoldering desire in that look, and Hinata was actually glad that it was not directed at her. It nearly scared her.

Why Kiba would have such strong desire for Sasuke, of all people, she had no idea. But she also knew that it was only desire. What he felt for her was different. And if Sasuke as much as came an inch too close to her boyfriend, she’d claw his eyes out. No matter how shy and timid she was, she wouldn’t let that man ruin her relationship.

There was something dark about Sasuke that seemed to draw people to him, but it also destroyed people. She would never allow Kiba to get destroyed by that. She’d protect him. Sasuke looked up all of a sudden and met her gaze. She got startled, because she hadn’t been aware she was staring. Sasuke didn’t glare at her this time. She figured it was an improvement.

She didn’t look away immediately like she’d used to before. It might have been mostly due to the alcohol making her brave, but she liked to think that they shared some sort of understanding now that they knew each other better. Suddenly he smirked at her, and Hinata felt goosebumps rise over her entire body.

“Hey,” Sasuke said, turning to the others. “What do you say to a foursome?”

Naruto and Kiba’s reaction was immediate.

“NO!”

Sasuke just chuckled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The (final) end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, I couldn’t help myself with the ending! So, there it is. The very end of this monstrosity. This last chapter nearly wrenched my heart and soul. Shit, I had no idea writing fanfiction could be this painful D: (thought, it might also have something to do with the fact that I have a headache...)  
> I hope this whole story (and with that I mean the whole 'lemonade' fic) gave you guys something, all though it's been jumbled and PMS'ing like hell... I don't know anyone with as wild mood-swings at this fic :P I'm really glad that you guys have been giving me so much feedback, your comments mean everything to me. They're like my food and water when it comes to writing <3  
> It occurs to me that I should probably have written this at the end of lemonade, but when I wrote the last chapter of lemonade, I just wanted to be done, (and I had really little time when I uploaded it too...)  
> But thank you to those of you who followed this to the end, and hopefully I'll see you again when I write my next fic *wriggles eyebrows* 
> 
> Okay... I was gonna say something more... Oh, yeah! Tell me if there are any gramatical errors (like... a missing sentence or something o_0), pretty please? Some times when I edit, I start writing something, and then I remember something else I needed to fix and suddenly there's all these half-written sentences floating around... I located two by chance right before I updated this...
> 
> And also... I feel like suicide can be a touchy subject, so I was a bit hesitant writing about it. I don't exactly have much knowledge about it. So I hope this came across as accurate, or at least not offending. My heart goes out to everyone who's been in such a dark place. I can't even begin to imagine how bad it really is.
> 
> Love ya all! Until next time!


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